Many years ago I used to have a Bedford Dormobile Mini Bus. The damned thing was falling apart with holes in the floor etc. front wings flapping like seagull's wings, but this was in the days before M.O.T's. Now a few of us had arranged to go fishing on the Sunday, but on the Saturday the whole exhaust dropped off ! So, I went out and bought one thinking that, if we fished somewhere like Blyth Quayside, the lads would help me fit the new one. 7.00 am Sunday morning, I collected two or three of the lads in the Newcastle area, where I lived at the time, and that left me only one to pick up - a young lad who lived in Whitley Bay. You can imagine what this thing sounded like with no exhaust on - I must have woken everyone up between Newcastle and Blyth.
On the Sunday morning we picked the young lad up - he sat himself down next to me on the passenger seat - off we went heading for Blyth along Whitley Bay sea front. Now, a couple of days before, I had been given an old car radio. This thing weighed a ton and was about 18 inches square. Where the hell you were supposed to fit that in a car I don't know. What I did was to put it on the floor of the vehicle at the back with a piece of wire hanging out the back door as an aerial and the two power leads fastened directly onto the ignition of the vehicle. As I said, driving along the sea front, we just got onto the dual carriageway by the Briardene doing about
40 mph or so, when suddenly I smelled burning. All the lads in the back started yelling that we were on fire. Wondering what the hell they were talking about I turned round to see flames shooting along the two wires towards the radio and in the process, setting fire to the carpet. The next thing I knew, the young lad sitting next to me, slid the door open and jumped out ... but he forgot to let go of the door and was being dragged along. Now he had studded waders on and was sliding ... with sparks flying in all directions from these studs, screaming in gibberish "Please Stop" !!! Meanwhile the guys in the back were doing everything trying to put the fire in the carpet out. One of them even pee'd on it and all that did was to poison us with the smell. It wasn't funny at the time, but afterwards we couldn't stop laughing.
Oh, by the way, I forgot the name of the young lad was "Chris Stringer" ... (do you remember that Chris?).
HAVE YOU GOT TIME FOR ANOTHER ONE LADS ...
When I lived at Tynemouth, 5 or 6 of us used to fish King Edwards Bay on a very regular basis and one night we had arranged to meet down on the beach. Three of us got there first and stood around for a few minutes and just decided to carry on. Now it was one of those nights that there was a very thick fog, no wind and not a sound to be heard. When we got to the water's edge - which was low water by the way - we realised that there was a big sand bank in front of us with a gulley filled with water only about a foot deep. So we decided to cross out on to it. We tackled up, cast out and just stood there lost in our thoughts, not making a sound. About 20 minutes or so later, we heard the rest of the lads coming down the beach towards us. After a while we realised that they had stopped on the beach and hadn't noticed the fact that there was a sand bank in front of them. The next thing we knew, leads were dropping on the sand beside us. For some reason the three of us all thought the same thing at the same time and, without saying a word, we picked up the lines that had been cast next to us and gave them some almighty tugs. This resulted in yells from the beach "What a fish" and so on. What we then did was to keep tugging at the lines for two or three minutes and the three of us got close together and very slowly allowed them on the beach to wind us in. As we loomed up out of the fog, there were screams of terror - rods and reels were thrown away and the last we saw of them, they were disappearing up the beach at a hell of a rate of knots. When they discovered it was us, they threatened to beat us to jellies, but after a while they did see the funny side of it.
Even now, when I think about it, I still laugh.