I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
You're not fat, you're just... easier to see
If i had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I'm driving.
Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else
Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes.
Feeling pretty proud of myself. The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months.
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
hope u enyjoyed if so will put some more up
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
You're not fat, you're just... easier to see
If i had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I'm driving.
Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else
Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes.
Feeling pretty proud of myself. The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months.
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
hope u enyjoyed if so will put some more up
on fire there bud
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