BriH
Well-known member
Actual call centre conversations !!!!!
Customer: \"I\'ve been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can\'t get through to enquiries, can you help?\".
Operator: \"Where did you get that number from, sir?\".
Customer: \"It was on the door to the Travel Centre\".
Operator: \"Sir, they are our opening hours\".
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Samsung Electronics
Caller: \"Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?\"
Operator: \"I\'m sorry, sir, I don\'t understand who you are talking about\".
Caller: \"On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?\"
Operator: \"I think you mean the telephone point on the wall\".
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RAC Motoring Services
Caller: \"Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?\"
Operator: \" Doesn\'t the product give you a clue?\"
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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
\"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?\"
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Directory Enquiries
Caller: \"I\'d like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please\".
Operator: \"I\'m sorry, there\'s no listing. Is the spelling correct?\"
Caller: \"Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the \'B\' fell off\".
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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: \"Woven? Are you sure?\"
Caller: \"Yes. That\'s what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland\".
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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
\"I haven\'t got a pen, so I\'m steaming up the window to write the number on\".
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Tech Support: \"I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop\".
Customer: \"OK\".
Tech Support: \"Did you get a pop-up menu?\".
Customer: \"No\".
Tech Support: \"OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?\"
Customer: \"No\".
Tech Support: \"OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?\".
Customer: \"Sure. You told me to write \'click\' and I wrote \'click\'\".
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Tech Support: \"OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the \'OK\' button displayed?\"
Customer: \"Wow. How can you see my screen from there?\"
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Caller: \"I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?\".
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There\'s always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for \"Termination without Cause\".
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: \"Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?\"
Caller: \"Yes, well, I\'m having trouble with WordPerfect.\"
Operator: \"What sort of trouble??\"
Caller: \"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.\"
Operator: \"Went away?\"
Caller: \"They disappeared.\"
Operator: \"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?\"
Caller: \"Nothing.\"
Operator: \"Nothing??\"
Caller: \"It\'s blank; it won\'t accept anything when I type.\"
Operator: \"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??\"
Caller: \"How do I tell?\"
Operator: \"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??\"
Caller: \"What\'s a sea-prompt?\"
Operator: \"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?\"
Caller: \"There isn\'t any cursor: I told you, it won\'t accept anything I type.\"
Operator: \"Does your monitor have a power indicator??\"
Caller: \"What\'s a monitor?\"
Operator: \"It\'s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it\'s on??\"
Caller: \"I don\'t know.\"
Operator: \"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??\"
Caller: \"Yes, I think so.\"
Operator: \"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it\'s plugged into the wall.
Caller: \"Yes, it is.\"
Operator: \"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??\"
Caller: \"No.\"
Operator: \"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.\"
Caller: \"Okay, here it is.\"
Operator: \"Follow it for me, and tell me if it\'s plugged securely into the back of your computer.\"
Caller: \"I can\'t reach.\"
Operator: \"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??\"
Caller: \"No.\"
Operator: \"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??\"
Caller: \"Oh, it\'s not because I don\'t have the right angle - it\'s because it\'s dark.\"
Operator: \"Dark??\"
Caller: \"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.\" Operator: \"Well, turn on the office light then.\"
Caller: \"I can\'t.\"
Operator: \"No? Why not??\"
Caller: \"Because there\'s a power failure.\"
Operator: \"A power...................................... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we\'ve got it li cked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??\"
Caller: \"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.\"
Operator: \"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.\"
Caller: \"Really? Is it that bad?\"
Operator: \"Yes, I\'m afraid it is.\"
Caller: \"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??\"
Operator: \"Tell them you\'re too f*%king stupid to own a computer!!!!!\"
Anybody Guilty of the above
Customer: \"I\'ve been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can\'t get through to enquiries, can you help?\".
Operator: \"Where did you get that number from, sir?\".
Customer: \"It was on the door to the Travel Centre\".
Operator: \"Sir, they are our opening hours\".
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Samsung Electronics
Caller: \"Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?\"
Operator: \"I\'m sorry, sir, I don\'t understand who you are talking about\".
Caller: \"On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?\"
Operator: \"I think you mean the telephone point on the wall\".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: \"Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?\"
Operator: \" Doesn\'t the product give you a clue?\"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
\"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?\"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Directory Enquiries
Caller: \"I\'d like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please\".
Operator: \"I\'m sorry, there\'s no listing. Is the spelling correct?\"
Caller: \"Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the \'B\' fell off\".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: \"Woven? Are you sure?\"
Caller: \"Yes. That\'s what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland\".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
\"I haven\'t got a pen, so I\'m steaming up the window to write the number on\".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: \"I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop\".
Customer: \"OK\".
Tech Support: \"Did you get a pop-up menu?\".
Customer: \"No\".
Tech Support: \"OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?\"
Customer: \"No\".
Tech Support: \"OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?\".
Customer: \"Sure. You told me to write \'click\' and I wrote \'click\'\".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: \"OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the \'OK\' button displayed?\"
Customer: \"Wow. How can you see my screen from there?\"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller: \"I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?\".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
There\'s always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for \"Termination without Cause\".
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: \"Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?\"
Caller: \"Yes, well, I\'m having trouble with WordPerfect.\"
Operator: \"What sort of trouble??\"
Caller: \"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.\"
Operator: \"Went away?\"
Caller: \"They disappeared.\"
Operator: \"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?\"
Caller: \"Nothing.\"
Operator: \"Nothing??\"
Caller: \"It\'s blank; it won\'t accept anything when I type.\"
Operator: \"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??\"
Caller: \"How do I tell?\"
Operator: \"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??\"
Caller: \"What\'s a sea-prompt?\"
Operator: \"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?\"
Caller: \"There isn\'t any cursor: I told you, it won\'t accept anything I type.\"
Operator: \"Does your monitor have a power indicator??\"
Caller: \"What\'s a monitor?\"
Operator: \"It\'s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it\'s on??\"
Caller: \"I don\'t know.\"
Operator: \"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??\"
Caller: \"Yes, I think so.\"
Operator: \"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it\'s plugged into the wall.
Caller: \"Yes, it is.\"
Operator: \"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??\"
Caller: \"No.\"
Operator: \"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.\"
Caller: \"Okay, here it is.\"
Operator: \"Follow it for me, and tell me if it\'s plugged securely into the back of your computer.\"
Caller: \"I can\'t reach.\"
Operator: \"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??\"
Caller: \"No.\"
Operator: \"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??\"
Caller: \"Oh, it\'s not because I don\'t have the right angle - it\'s because it\'s dark.\"
Operator: \"Dark??\"
Caller: \"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.\" Operator: \"Well, turn on the office light then.\"
Caller: \"I can\'t.\"
Operator: \"No? Why not??\"
Caller: \"Because there\'s a power failure.\"
Operator: \"A power...................................... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we\'ve got it li cked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??\"
Caller: \"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.\"
Operator: \"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.\"
Caller: \"Really? Is it that bad?\"
Operator: \"Yes, I\'m afraid it is.\"
Caller: \"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??\"
Operator: \"Tell them you\'re too f*%king stupid to own a computer!!!!!\"
Anybody Guilty of the above
