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Tommys Tiddler
(A tale of how things used to be)
Now Little Tommy Mellor, was a canny little fellow,
who did the things that wee lads used to do,
Before the days of dvds, tommys gang got bloody knees,
and roamed the streets on home made bogies too.
There was Tommys best mate Matty, who was deadly with a catty,
he could hit next doors tom cat at twenty paces,
there was little Freddy Tucker, a chubby little fella,
and Jimmy bell who couldn’t tie his laces.
Noo one day Tommy sez, “Me Favourite uncle Les, has giz a little yellow fishin net”
“Let we gan doon to the watter, cos me mams just made some batter, bring a jamjar and lets see what we can get.
Though they sat, and fished all day, the trout all stayed away,
and Tommys gang were just about to gan, when a little stickleback,
stuck its heed oot of a crack,
And Tommy shouted “howay gerrit man!!”
Freddy grabbed the little net, and with nee fear of gett’n wet ,
started wadin in as far as he could go, but the little fish was gone,
and up piped little Tom, “Freddy man, yer ower fat’n’slow.!”
But Fred would not be beat, and underneath his feet,
was a little fish just lying on the bottom, with a flick of Freddys wrist, and a little clever twist, it was in the net, and Freddy shouts “’av gorrim!”
There were cheers and yells all round, as in the jamjar, swimming round, was the first fish that the gang had ever caught,
(Now though Ill tell you so, Im sure you all will know, that feeling cannot possibly be bought.)
When the cheers had died away, Jimmy says” Aa knaa, howay,
well gan and show wa catch to everyone” so off the lads aal set,
with their claes aal soakin wet, to the schoolyard were the girls were havin fun.
“Here, lasses, look at this, come and see wa little fish” shouted Tommy and his gang to all the girls,
so the lasses gathered round, and they never made a sound,
as they peered between their ribbons and their curls.
“Then Jenny says “Ah cannit see, a haven’t got me specs with me, “
can you tek it oot the jamjar forra bit?”
“Ah suppose t wouldn’t matter, if we took it oot the watter,
but ownly for a sec or two areet.”
So Tommy took it out, but as it flapped about, he took his eye off it for just a sec,
It jumped out of his grip, little Tommy let it slip,
and It lay there motionless, upon the deck.
Now they all just stood around, stared in silence at the ground,
at the little piece of silver on the floor,
Not a single word was spoken,
Tommys little heart was broken,
And the little silver fish, it was no more.
Now the moral of this ditty, although it seems a pity,
Is never leave the house without your glasses,
Get back up, each time you fall,
But really,
Most of all,
Never get your tiddler out for lasses.
Paul Hunter
Author 28 8 06
[Edited on 28/8/2006 by Hiram.A.Biff]
(A tale of how things used to be)
Now Little Tommy Mellor, was a canny little fellow,
who did the things that wee lads used to do,
Before the days of dvds, tommys gang got bloody knees,
and roamed the streets on home made bogies too.
There was Tommys best mate Matty, who was deadly with a catty,
he could hit next doors tom cat at twenty paces,
there was little Freddy Tucker, a chubby little fella,
and Jimmy bell who couldn’t tie his laces.
Noo one day Tommy sez, “Me Favourite uncle Les, has giz a little yellow fishin net”
“Let we gan doon to the watter, cos me mams just made some batter, bring a jamjar and lets see what we can get.
Though they sat, and fished all day, the trout all stayed away,
and Tommys gang were just about to gan, when a little stickleback,
stuck its heed oot of a crack,
And Tommy shouted “howay gerrit man!!”
Freddy grabbed the little net, and with nee fear of gett’n wet ,
started wadin in as far as he could go, but the little fish was gone,
and up piped little Tom, “Freddy man, yer ower fat’n’slow.!”
But Fred would not be beat, and underneath his feet,
was a little fish just lying on the bottom, with a flick of Freddys wrist, and a little clever twist, it was in the net, and Freddy shouts “’av gorrim!”
There were cheers and yells all round, as in the jamjar, swimming round, was the first fish that the gang had ever caught,
(Now though Ill tell you so, Im sure you all will know, that feeling cannot possibly be bought.)
When the cheers had died away, Jimmy says” Aa knaa, howay,
well gan and show wa catch to everyone” so off the lads aal set,
with their claes aal soakin wet, to the schoolyard were the girls were havin fun.
“Here, lasses, look at this, come and see wa little fish” shouted Tommy and his gang to all the girls,
so the lasses gathered round, and they never made a sound,
as they peered between their ribbons and their curls.
“Then Jenny says “Ah cannit see, a haven’t got me specs with me, “
can you tek it oot the jamjar forra bit?”
“Ah suppose t wouldn’t matter, if we took it oot the watter,
but ownly for a sec or two areet.”
So Tommy took it out, but as it flapped about, he took his eye off it for just a sec,
It jumped out of his grip, little Tommy let it slip,
and It lay there motionless, upon the deck.
Now they all just stood around, stared in silence at the ground,
at the little piece of silver on the floor,
Not a single word was spoken,
Tommys little heart was broken,
And the little silver fish, it was no more.
Now the moral of this ditty, although it seems a pity,
Is never leave the house without your glasses,
Get back up, each time you fall,
But really,
Most of all,
Never get your tiddler out for lasses.
Paul Hunter
Author 28 8 06
[Edited on 28/8/2006 by Hiram.A.Biff]
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