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How to be a charver
Lesson 1: Borrowing A Tab
WITHIN MINUTES of arriving in Newcastle you will encounter the legendary Geordie hospitality, when a complete stranger approaches you with his right hand extended. \"Lenz a tab,\" he’ll say.
You have made a pal, and he is suggesting you cement the friendship with the long-term loan of a cigarette. You, in turn, are obliged to lend him one.
This routine will happen every time you venture out in Newcastle. So if you don’t smoke, now’s a good time to start.
The ‘friendliest’ types are young lads wearing colourful sportswear and a \"nippa\" behind their ear, who sound as though they’re talking through their left nostril.
When he says \"Lenz a tab,\" you will reply \"nee bother, charver.\" He’ll be sure to look out for you in future.
He may have a female with him. She’ll also be wearing sportswear, dripping with gold-coloured jewellery. The fringe of her yellow hair will have been carefully sprayed over a coke tin until it’s twice the size of her head. She is known as a Kappa Slapper – or \"me bewer.\"
In this case you will offer two cigarettes. And if you’re feeling particularly gregarious, add the words \"bet she gans like the clappaz.\" Your wit will be noted.
Now that you understand this easy piece of etiquette, why not try it yourself?
Simply walk up to a stranger in a bar or on a bus, lean close to their face, and say the words:
\"Lenz a tab.\"
Better still, try it on everyone you pass in the street – you’ll be surprised at the interesting situations this can lead to.
And you’ll know when you’ve met a true kindred spirit, when they reply \"Ah was ganna ask yee.\"
Lesson 2: Getting Drunk
The twin vices of the Charver are drink and drugs – although the peeve1 I slightly harder to obtain than tack2. This is because charvers are too young to get into pubs, which means hanging around outside the offie until someone can be ‘persuaded’ to go in and buy their bottles.
So first of all, choose your shop and position yourself by the doorway, but out sight of the owner. If spotted you’ll have to nash3, because he’ll assume you’re on the chaw4.
You could be there for some time, so why not while away the hours with a bit hockling?
All charver’s hockle5 – it’s as natural as breathing. It also enables them to find their friends, by simply following the trail of phlegm from the shop to the bus shelter, and back.
You should have a decent-sized pool at your feet before some dafty6 agrees to make your purchase.
Charvers have a varied palate, in that they’re not fussy what they drink. But most aim to get monged7 for less than three bar8; so it’s got to be cheap.
Fortunately, this market is well catered for. Many favour speccy9, a bottle of which will rip your wires out for a couple of bar. Similar tipples include White Lightning, Zodiac and Storm. The names hint at the damage they’ll inflict on your brain.
Wine is popular with the Bella10 Boys, who have seen the state of imbecility tramps manage to achieve, on a couple of bottles. Basically, any white wine with a name ending in ‘brusco’ is considered too nasty for general consumption, and is knocked out to alkies and charvers at around a quid a bottle. Double cush11.
You’ll need somewhere to do your drinking, and a bus shelter is just the job.
TRANSLATOR
1 PEEVE Alcoholic. Also, to drink: \"I was proper peeved-up.\"
2 TACK Hashish, usually of a very poor quality
3 NASH To move swiftly: “He proper did a nash when me fatha came home”
4 CHAW To steal
5 HOCKLE Spit
6 DAFTY Thick or gullible person
7 MONGED Off one’s head
8 BAR An English pound: \"Me fine was only fowty-bar.\"
9 SPECCY Spectrum cider, cheap and nasty
10 BELLA Bella Brusco, a vile white wine
11 DOUBLE CUSH Very good. Also ‘pure cush’, or simply ‘cush’
12 CRIB Where a charver sleeps: \"Am gan yairm to me crib.\"
Charver Dictionary
alfie To inform an authority about somebody\'s actions \"y\' puarly alfied on us\"
a’narrrh I know
belta Used for expressing how good something is \"that car\'s puarly belta\"
bizzies Police officers
chaw To steal
chiv Knife, or to stab someone
clivva Clever, or healthy. \"I’m not feeling ower clivva today.\"
couple-on Leave a tiny bit on a cigarette
cowie Drug, usually a pill
crib Where a Charver sleeps \"Am gan hyem to me crib\"
cush Or cushty. Cool
daint South Tyneside charverese, meaning ‘don’t’
doiler Idiot
eeenaaar Female Charver: \"Have y’ gorra tab?\" \"Eeee. Naaar.\"
fog First
fog-on Polite request to finish someone else’s cigarette
friskin\' To joke. \"I was only friskin\' ya man\"
geet Very large: \"He was a proper geet bloke\"
git To exaggerate something. \"You’re git thick, you\"
graft On your way to steal something
greef To be giving someone hassle, to be greef\'n someone
heed the baal Lunatic
hew Can be pronounced ‘how’, used at the end of most sentences
hoisty Stolen car
hoo man Excuse me
hor That lady over there
hotching Stinking
hoy Hey you! \"Hoy, man.\"
hoy To throw. \"Hoy it arriz.\"
hoy To go on the ****. \"Am gan on the hoy – y’cummin?\"
kappa slappa Female Charver
keep toot Act as a look-out
ken Charver’s home
ket Kiddies’ confectionery
knaa To know \"ya knaa what i just did?\"
ladgeful Used for expressing how bad something is. \"She\'s ****in\' ladgeful hor, man\"
lowie Money
lush Lovely
maa Mother
mazzies Temazapan, a prescription drug mixed with alcohol which will mong out a Charver
mental, mental, chicken oriental Used as an expression of enthusiasm
meth Calling someone, to be a meth, or methin\'
minging Smelly
mint Good/great: \"That’s mint, man.\"
mission/mish To be going somewhere, perhaps on the rob
Monday book Child allowance
monged Off one’s head, usually due to drink or drugs
mullered Drunk
mortal Very drunk
mug Foolish person, easily led \"he’s pure mugged out\"
narrrh Nasal sound which can mean ‘no’ or ‘know’ \"A didn’t narrrh y’had narrrh tabs\"
nash To move swiftly \"He proper did a nash when me da turned up\"
ned Glaswegian Charver. (Non-educated delinquent)
nee botha No problem
nippa Partly-smoked cigarette, worn behind ear
n’that Etc. Can be used as a full stop at the end of any sentence
numpty Not a very bright person
offie Off license. Place to purchase alcohol, place of worship for charvers
pasty baby Child of a Charver lass, so-called because of all the crumbs and mess around them, from their staple diet
peeve Alcoholic drink. \"He was proper peeved-up last neet.\"
puar From the English word pure. Puar and puarly are used to emphasise something. \"It\'s puarly mint, man\"
proper An adjective to be used anywhere in a sentence. \"He\'s a proper radgee\"
radgee Can be used as a noun, adjective or verb. Use where, when and as often as you like.
rockies Rockport shoes
scran Food
shan Not very good
sharon The female of the charver species.
skankin Foul-smelling, bad, stinking
skitzy Mental person, or monger
skwark The high pitch vocalisation made by a sharon.
snide Counterfeit or false
snout Cigarette
spacka boot Platform shoe
spark To hit someone
tack Smokeable narcotic of dubious strength
tatie Potatoe, or a stupid person
tickhead Wearer of a Nike baseball cap
TWOC Taken Without Owners Consent, the term used to steal a car
waxa See belta
whitey Temporary illness due to excessive alcohol or tack intake \"he proper hoyed a whitey\"
why aye, chicken pie Indication of agreement
workid \"our kid\", but used to greet anyone \"y\'alreet workid?\"
You fancy a certain little radgie - but he can’t take his eyes off your fringe? Then let one of these pendants work its magic charms. Made from shiny metal and recently modelled on catwalks and dole queues from Byker to Battle Hill, they’ll set last week’s love-bites off perfectly - and will soon have your new lad gnawing at your neck.
Bored with last year’s finger fashions? It’s time to cover those N.U.F.C. and A.C.A.B. tattoos with a few sovereign rings. They make a sophisticated ‘ching’ when you pick up your bottle of Bella Brusco. And - used properly - they’ll take the side of the face off anyone who makes a move on you, your bottle, or your lad. Young mums can invest in their bairn’s future. They make classy bracelets for babies aged 0-3 months.
Who wants to stand out from the crowd? You’ll only get picked on. The simplest way to look like every other swearing, spitting, Sharon on your estate is to wear hoops - and wear ‘em big. Who cares if your ear lobes are hanging lower than your tits by the time you’re twenty? Make sure the hoops are big enough to fit over your head - including your fringe - and worry about the permanent disfigurement when you’re more grown-up.
Life Studies
NAME: Danielle
AGE: 16
LIVES: With mam and her boyfriend in flat in Elswick
WEARS: Kappa top, Kappa pants and Reebok trainers,
ACCESSORIES: Hair piled up with gold ruffle, several kilos of gold chains around neck, sovereign rings, loads of orange makeup and a tab.
CAR: Boyfriend Darren’s Y-reg Fiesta (the ‘Shaggin’ Wagon’)
HOBBIES: Making sure \"me fringe\" is always perfect, chewing gum (even when eating chips), going to me mates, going nowhere
MUSIC: Happy Hardcore. Hates Indie music
TELLY: Big Breakfast, Home & Away and Emmerdale
FILMS: Action movies ‘cos Darren likes them
SPORT: I forge a sick note to get off games at school
FOOD: Chips & gravy from the Chinkies, me mam’s dinners, Burger King burgers
HOLIDAYS: Going to Ibiza next year if I get a job
DRINK & DRUGS: Castaway & Diamond White (with a straw), Embassy Regal and some tack if Darren’s got any
NAME: Greavesy
AGE: 15
LIVES: With mam and girlfriend Kelly-Marie, on Harms Way, Bensham
WEARS: Nike top (XL), tracky bottoms tucked into white socks, Air Jordan sneeks, checky cloth cap, nippa behind left ear
CAR: Can take owt you want from one
HABITS & HOBBIES: Filling bus shelters with spit and tab-ends, setting pet Staffy on students and Goths, The Toon
MUSIC: Not fussed – them Steps are worth a shag
TELLY: The Bill, Toon on Sky Sports
FILMS: Nah, prefer vids
SPORT: Pool, fighting, The Toon
FOOD: McCain’s Micro Chips, instant mash & baked beans, pickled onion crisps
HOLIDAYS: School one (Jan – Dec), occasional day trips to MetroCentre on the thieve
DRINK & DRUGS: Bit of tack, big bottle of Tango (for bong), Bella Brusco with White Lightning, pack of Drum a day
NAME: Tiffany (girl mates call her Tiff, boy mates call here Fanny)
AGE: 20
WORK: Mother and homemaker
LIVES: In council house with daughter Chantelle and boyfriend Wayne. Wayne’s other daughter, Tamara, lives with his ex-wife. House has leaded windows, Austrian blinds, outside lights front and back, satellite dish, supermarket trolley and old carpet in garden
DAY WEAR: Naff Naff T-shirt, Sweater Shop cardigan, leggings and flip-flops. A Berghaus coat for when it’s less than seventy-degrees
EVENING WEAR: Anything tight and short and easy to get off
CAR: Benwell Taxis
HABITS & HOBBIES: Benson & Hedges, Wrigleys, sitting on dining chair on front step, talking to Sharon next door. Friday nights, Bigg Market
TELEVISION: Anything on Sky
FILMS: Anything on Sky Movie
SPORTS: Toon on Sky Sports, W.W.F.
FOOD: Something from Netto after collecting Chantelle from nursery.
HOLIDAYS: Spain next year with Wayne
DRINK & DRUGS: Bottle of white wine before going out, some tack and a few trebs. Cushty.
Lesson 1: Borrowing A Tab
WITHIN MINUTES of arriving in Newcastle you will encounter the legendary Geordie hospitality, when a complete stranger approaches you with his right hand extended. \"Lenz a tab,\" he’ll say.
You have made a pal, and he is suggesting you cement the friendship with the long-term loan of a cigarette. You, in turn, are obliged to lend him one.
This routine will happen every time you venture out in Newcastle. So if you don’t smoke, now’s a good time to start.
The ‘friendliest’ types are young lads wearing colourful sportswear and a \"nippa\" behind their ear, who sound as though they’re talking through their left nostril.
When he says \"Lenz a tab,\" you will reply \"nee bother, charver.\" He’ll be sure to look out for you in future.
He may have a female with him. She’ll also be wearing sportswear, dripping with gold-coloured jewellery. The fringe of her yellow hair will have been carefully sprayed over a coke tin until it’s twice the size of her head. She is known as a Kappa Slapper – or \"me bewer.\"
In this case you will offer two cigarettes. And if you’re feeling particularly gregarious, add the words \"bet she gans like the clappaz.\" Your wit will be noted.
Now that you understand this easy piece of etiquette, why not try it yourself?
Simply walk up to a stranger in a bar or on a bus, lean close to their face, and say the words:
\"Lenz a tab.\"
Better still, try it on everyone you pass in the street – you’ll be surprised at the interesting situations this can lead to.
And you’ll know when you’ve met a true kindred spirit, when they reply \"Ah was ganna ask yee.\"
Lesson 2: Getting Drunk
The twin vices of the Charver are drink and drugs – although the peeve1 I slightly harder to obtain than tack2. This is because charvers are too young to get into pubs, which means hanging around outside the offie until someone can be ‘persuaded’ to go in and buy their bottles.
So first of all, choose your shop and position yourself by the doorway, but out sight of the owner. If spotted you’ll have to nash3, because he’ll assume you’re on the chaw4.
You could be there for some time, so why not while away the hours with a bit hockling?
All charver’s hockle5 – it’s as natural as breathing. It also enables them to find their friends, by simply following the trail of phlegm from the shop to the bus shelter, and back.
You should have a decent-sized pool at your feet before some dafty6 agrees to make your purchase.
Charvers have a varied palate, in that they’re not fussy what they drink. But most aim to get monged7 for less than three bar8; so it’s got to be cheap.
Fortunately, this market is well catered for. Many favour speccy9, a bottle of which will rip your wires out for a couple of bar. Similar tipples include White Lightning, Zodiac and Storm. The names hint at the damage they’ll inflict on your brain.
Wine is popular with the Bella10 Boys, who have seen the state of imbecility tramps manage to achieve, on a couple of bottles. Basically, any white wine with a name ending in ‘brusco’ is considered too nasty for general consumption, and is knocked out to alkies and charvers at around a quid a bottle. Double cush11.
You’ll need somewhere to do your drinking, and a bus shelter is just the job.
TRANSLATOR
1 PEEVE Alcoholic. Also, to drink: \"I was proper peeved-up.\"
2 TACK Hashish, usually of a very poor quality
3 NASH To move swiftly: “He proper did a nash when me fatha came home”
4 CHAW To steal
5 HOCKLE Spit
6 DAFTY Thick or gullible person
7 MONGED Off one’s head
8 BAR An English pound: \"Me fine was only fowty-bar.\"
9 SPECCY Spectrum cider, cheap and nasty
10 BELLA Bella Brusco, a vile white wine
11 DOUBLE CUSH Very good. Also ‘pure cush’, or simply ‘cush’
12 CRIB Where a charver sleeps: \"Am gan yairm to me crib.\"
Charver Dictionary
alfie To inform an authority about somebody\'s actions \"y\' puarly alfied on us\"
a’narrrh I know
belta Used for expressing how good something is \"that car\'s puarly belta\"
bizzies Police officers
chaw To steal
chiv Knife, or to stab someone
clivva Clever, or healthy. \"I’m not feeling ower clivva today.\"
couple-on Leave a tiny bit on a cigarette
cowie Drug, usually a pill
crib Where a Charver sleeps \"Am gan hyem to me crib\"
cush Or cushty. Cool
daint South Tyneside charverese, meaning ‘don’t’
doiler Idiot
eeenaaar Female Charver: \"Have y’ gorra tab?\" \"Eeee. Naaar.\"
fog First
fog-on Polite request to finish someone else’s cigarette
friskin\' To joke. \"I was only friskin\' ya man\"
geet Very large: \"He was a proper geet bloke\"
git To exaggerate something. \"You’re git thick, you\"
graft On your way to steal something
greef To be giving someone hassle, to be greef\'n someone
heed the baal Lunatic
hew Can be pronounced ‘how’, used at the end of most sentences
hoisty Stolen car
hoo man Excuse me
hor That lady over there
hotching Stinking
hoy Hey you! \"Hoy, man.\"
hoy To throw. \"Hoy it arriz.\"
hoy To go on the ****. \"Am gan on the hoy – y’cummin?\"
kappa slappa Female Charver
keep toot Act as a look-out
ken Charver’s home
ket Kiddies’ confectionery
knaa To know \"ya knaa what i just did?\"
ladgeful Used for expressing how bad something is. \"She\'s ****in\' ladgeful hor, man\"
lowie Money
lush Lovely
maa Mother
mazzies Temazapan, a prescription drug mixed with alcohol which will mong out a Charver
mental, mental, chicken oriental Used as an expression of enthusiasm
meth Calling someone, to be a meth, or methin\'
minging Smelly
mint Good/great: \"That’s mint, man.\"
mission/mish To be going somewhere, perhaps on the rob
Monday book Child allowance
monged Off one’s head, usually due to drink or drugs
mullered Drunk
mortal Very drunk
mug Foolish person, easily led \"he’s pure mugged out\"
narrrh Nasal sound which can mean ‘no’ or ‘know’ \"A didn’t narrrh y’had narrrh tabs\"
nash To move swiftly \"He proper did a nash when me da turned up\"
ned Glaswegian Charver. (Non-educated delinquent)
nee botha No problem
nippa Partly-smoked cigarette, worn behind ear
n’that Etc. Can be used as a full stop at the end of any sentence
numpty Not a very bright person
offie Off license. Place to purchase alcohol, place of worship for charvers
pasty baby Child of a Charver lass, so-called because of all the crumbs and mess around them, from their staple diet
peeve Alcoholic drink. \"He was proper peeved-up last neet.\"
puar From the English word pure. Puar and puarly are used to emphasise something. \"It\'s puarly mint, man\"
proper An adjective to be used anywhere in a sentence. \"He\'s a proper radgee\"
radgee Can be used as a noun, adjective or verb. Use where, when and as often as you like.
rockies Rockport shoes
scran Food
shan Not very good
sharon The female of the charver species.
skankin Foul-smelling, bad, stinking
skitzy Mental person, or monger
skwark The high pitch vocalisation made by a sharon.
snide Counterfeit or false
snout Cigarette
spacka boot Platform shoe
spark To hit someone
tack Smokeable narcotic of dubious strength
tatie Potatoe, or a stupid person
tickhead Wearer of a Nike baseball cap
TWOC Taken Without Owners Consent, the term used to steal a car
waxa See belta
whitey Temporary illness due to excessive alcohol or tack intake \"he proper hoyed a whitey\"
why aye, chicken pie Indication of agreement
workid \"our kid\", but used to greet anyone \"y\'alreet workid?\"
You fancy a certain little radgie - but he can’t take his eyes off your fringe? Then let one of these pendants work its magic charms. Made from shiny metal and recently modelled on catwalks and dole queues from Byker to Battle Hill, they’ll set last week’s love-bites off perfectly - and will soon have your new lad gnawing at your neck.
Bored with last year’s finger fashions? It’s time to cover those N.U.F.C. and A.C.A.B. tattoos with a few sovereign rings. They make a sophisticated ‘ching’ when you pick up your bottle of Bella Brusco. And - used properly - they’ll take the side of the face off anyone who makes a move on you, your bottle, or your lad. Young mums can invest in their bairn’s future. They make classy bracelets for babies aged 0-3 months.
Who wants to stand out from the crowd? You’ll only get picked on. The simplest way to look like every other swearing, spitting, Sharon on your estate is to wear hoops - and wear ‘em big. Who cares if your ear lobes are hanging lower than your tits by the time you’re twenty? Make sure the hoops are big enough to fit over your head - including your fringe - and worry about the permanent disfigurement when you’re more grown-up.
Life Studies
NAME: Danielle
AGE: 16
LIVES: With mam and her boyfriend in flat in Elswick
WEARS: Kappa top, Kappa pants and Reebok trainers,
ACCESSORIES: Hair piled up with gold ruffle, several kilos of gold chains around neck, sovereign rings, loads of orange makeup and a tab.
CAR: Boyfriend Darren’s Y-reg Fiesta (the ‘Shaggin’ Wagon’)
HOBBIES: Making sure \"me fringe\" is always perfect, chewing gum (even when eating chips), going to me mates, going nowhere
MUSIC: Happy Hardcore. Hates Indie music
TELLY: Big Breakfast, Home & Away and Emmerdale
FILMS: Action movies ‘cos Darren likes them
SPORT: I forge a sick note to get off games at school
FOOD: Chips & gravy from the Chinkies, me mam’s dinners, Burger King burgers
HOLIDAYS: Going to Ibiza next year if I get a job
DRINK & DRUGS: Castaway & Diamond White (with a straw), Embassy Regal and some tack if Darren’s got any
NAME: Greavesy
AGE: 15
LIVES: With mam and girlfriend Kelly-Marie, on Harms Way, Bensham
WEARS: Nike top (XL), tracky bottoms tucked into white socks, Air Jordan sneeks, checky cloth cap, nippa behind left ear
CAR: Can take owt you want from one
HABITS & HOBBIES: Filling bus shelters with spit and tab-ends, setting pet Staffy on students and Goths, The Toon
MUSIC: Not fussed – them Steps are worth a shag
TELLY: The Bill, Toon on Sky Sports
FILMS: Nah, prefer vids
SPORT: Pool, fighting, The Toon
FOOD: McCain’s Micro Chips, instant mash & baked beans, pickled onion crisps
HOLIDAYS: School one (Jan – Dec), occasional day trips to MetroCentre on the thieve
DRINK & DRUGS: Bit of tack, big bottle of Tango (for bong), Bella Brusco with White Lightning, pack of Drum a day
NAME: Tiffany (girl mates call her Tiff, boy mates call here Fanny)
AGE: 20
WORK: Mother and homemaker
LIVES: In council house with daughter Chantelle and boyfriend Wayne. Wayne’s other daughter, Tamara, lives with his ex-wife. House has leaded windows, Austrian blinds, outside lights front and back, satellite dish, supermarket trolley and old carpet in garden
DAY WEAR: Naff Naff T-shirt, Sweater Shop cardigan, leggings and flip-flops. A Berghaus coat for when it’s less than seventy-degrees
EVENING WEAR: Anything tight and short and easy to get off
CAR: Benwell Taxis
HABITS & HOBBIES: Benson & Hedges, Wrigleys, sitting on dining chair on front step, talking to Sharon next door. Friday nights, Bigg Market
TELEVISION: Anything on Sky
FILMS: Anything on Sky Movie
SPORTS: Toon on Sky Sports, W.W.F.
FOOD: Something from Netto after collecting Chantelle from nursery.
HOLIDAYS: Spain next year with Wayne
DRINK & DRUGS: Bottle of white wine before going out, some tack and a few trebs. Cushty.