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Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE,
BUT THE BULL CHARGES
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO
GET LESSONS
Sign on a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE
DOOR - THE BELL DOESN’T WORK)
Spotted in a toilet in a London office block:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
Sign in a Japanese hotel:
SPORTS JACKETS MAY BE WORN BUT NO TROUSERS
Sign in Egyptian hotel:
IF YOU REQUIRE ROOM SERVICE, PLEASE OPEN DOOR AND
SHOUT, \"ROOM SERVICE!\"
At a Santa Fe gas station:
\"We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.\"
In a New York restaurant:
\"Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager.\"
On the wall of a Baltimore estate:
\"Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.—Sisters of
Mercy\"
On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners:
\"38 years on the same spot.\"
In a Los Angeles dance hall:
\"Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.\"
In a Florida maternity ward:
\"No children allowed.\"
In a New York drugstore:
\"We dispense with accuracy.\"
In the offices of a loan company:
\"Ask about our plans for owning your home.\"
In a New York medical building:
\"Mental Health Prevention Center\"
On a New York convalescent home:
\"For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church.\"
On a Maine shop:
\"Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and
workmanship..\"
At a number of military bases:
\"Restricted to unauthorized personnel.\"
On a display of \"I love you only\" Valentine cards:
\"Now available in multi-packs.\"
In the window of a Kentucky appliance store:
\"Don’t kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.\"
In a funeral parlor:
\"Ask about our layaway plan.\"
In a clothing store:
\"Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.\"
In a Tacoma, Washington men’s clothing store:
\"15 men’s wool suits, $10. They won’t last an hour!\"
On a shopping mall marquee:
\"Archery Tournament—Ears pierced\"
Outside a country shop:
\"We buy junk and sell antiques.\"
In the window of an Oregon store:
\"Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?\"
In a Maine restaurant:
\"Open 7 days a week and weekends.\"
On a radiator repair garage:
\"Best place to take a leak.\"
In the vestry of a New England church:
\"Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is
extinguished.\"
In a Pennsylvania cemetery:
\"Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own
graves.\"
On a roller coaster:
\"Watch your head.\"
On the grounds of a public school:
\"No trespassing without permission.\"
On a Tennessee highway:
\"When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.\"
Similarly, in front of a New Hampshire car wash:
\"If you can’t read this, it’s time to wash your car.\"
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE,
BUT THE BULL CHARGES
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO
GET LESSONS
Sign on a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE
DOOR - THE BELL DOESN’T WORK)
Spotted in a toilet in a London office block:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
Sign in a Japanese hotel:
SPORTS JACKETS MAY BE WORN BUT NO TROUSERS
Sign in Egyptian hotel:
IF YOU REQUIRE ROOM SERVICE, PLEASE OPEN DOOR AND
SHOUT, \"ROOM SERVICE!\"
At a Santa Fe gas station:
\"We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.\"
In a New York restaurant:
\"Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager.\"
On the wall of a Baltimore estate:
\"Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.—Sisters of
Mercy\"
On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners:
\"38 years on the same spot.\"
In a Los Angeles dance hall:
\"Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.\"
In a Florida maternity ward:
\"No children allowed.\"
In a New York drugstore:
\"We dispense with accuracy.\"
In the offices of a loan company:
\"Ask about our plans for owning your home.\"
In a New York medical building:
\"Mental Health Prevention Center\"
On a New York convalescent home:
\"For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church.\"
On a Maine shop:
\"Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and
workmanship..\"
At a number of military bases:
\"Restricted to unauthorized personnel.\"
On a display of \"I love you only\" Valentine cards:
\"Now available in multi-packs.\"
In the window of a Kentucky appliance store:
\"Don’t kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.\"
In a funeral parlor:
\"Ask about our layaway plan.\"
In a clothing store:
\"Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.\"
In a Tacoma, Washington men’s clothing store:
\"15 men’s wool suits, $10. They won’t last an hour!\"
On a shopping mall marquee:
\"Archery Tournament—Ears pierced\"
Outside a country shop:
\"We buy junk and sell antiques.\"
In the window of an Oregon store:
\"Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?\"
In a Maine restaurant:
\"Open 7 days a week and weekends.\"
On a radiator repair garage:
\"Best place to take a leak.\"
In the vestry of a New England church:
\"Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is
extinguished.\"
In a Pennsylvania cemetery:
\"Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own
graves.\"
On a roller coaster:
\"Watch your head.\"
On the grounds of a public school:
\"No trespassing without permission.\"
On a Tennessee highway:
\"When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.\"
Similarly, in front of a New Hampshire car wash:
\"If you can’t read this, it’s time to wash your car.\"