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In memory of a great man. Ronnie RIP.
> > ------------------------------------------ --------------
> >
> > This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie
> > Barker could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how
many
> > takes). Irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of
> > delivery must have been too much for the whining herds. Try getting
> > through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your
> > pants] as you read ...
> >
> > ------------------------------------------ --------------
> >
> > This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
> >
> > Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.
Rindercella
> > worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling
> > shot.
> >
> > At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
> >
> > The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary
Hinge,
> > and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible
> > huckers;they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters
had
> > tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let
> > Rindercella go.
> >
> > Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.
> > Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She
> > turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with
> > six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks
> >
> > The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight
otherwise,
>
> > there would be a cucking falamity.
> >
> > At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when
> > suddenly the clock struck twelve. \"Mist all chucking frighty!!!\"
said
> > Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so
dropping
> > her slass glipper.
> >
> > The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella\'s door
and
>
> > the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her
leg
> > and let off a fig bart. \"Who\'s fust jarted??\" asked the prandsome
> hince.
> > \"Blame that fugly ucker over there!!\" said Mary Hinge. When the
> > stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both
the
>
> > sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
> >
> > Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a
> > knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge
> > halls and a hig bard on.
> >
> > He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking
> > ferfectly.
> >
> > Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince
> > lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a
> > follen swanny.
> > ------------------------------------------ --------------
> >
> > This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie
> > Barker could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how
many
> > takes). Irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of
> > delivery must have been too much for the whining herds. Try getting
> > through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your
> > pants] as you read ...
> >
> > ------------------------------------------ --------------
> >
> > This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
> >
> > Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.
Rindercella
> > worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling
> > shot.
> >
> > At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
> >
> > The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary
Hinge,
> > and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible
> > huckers;they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters
had
> > tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let
> > Rindercella go.
> >
> > Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.
> > Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She
> > turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with
> > six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks
> >
> > The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight
otherwise,
>
> > there would be a cucking falamity.
> >
> > At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when
> > suddenly the clock struck twelve. \"Mist all chucking frighty!!!\"
said
> > Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so
dropping
> > her slass glipper.
> >
> > The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella\'s door
and
>
> > the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her
leg
> > and let off a fig bart. \"Who\'s fust jarted??\" asked the prandsome
> hince.
> > \"Blame that fugly ucker over there!!\" said Mary Hinge. When the
> > stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both
the
>
> > sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
> >
> > Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a
> > knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge
> > halls and a hig bard on.
> >
> > He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking
> > ferfectly.
> >
> > Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince
> > lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a
> > follen swanny.