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David Beckham runs in early from training one afternoon and dashes
to
the bedroom to find Posh spread out on the bed naked, puffing and
panting.
Becks asks her suspiciously \"What are you doing?\" Posh stutters a
reply \"I\'m - er, er.... I\'m having a heart attack\" \"Oh no\" he cries
in
despair. \"I\'ll call an ambulance\". He runs downstairs, picks up the
phone
and begins dialling 999. However, he is stopped in his tracks by a
tearful
Brooklyn. \"What\'s the matter, son?\" asks Becks. \"Uncle Giggsy is in
the wardrobe with no clothes on, daddy\" sniffles Brooklyn.
Infuriated by
this, Beckham runs upstairs and kicks down the wardrobe door. Sure
enough,
the carpet-chested Welshman is stood there, starkers. \"You w@nker
Giggsy\"
screams Becks. \"My wife is right over there having a heart attack,
and
you\'re running around naked scaring the sh!t out of Brooklyn.\"
--------------------------------
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles
on
their faces. The coroner calls in the police to tell them what
has happened First body: \"Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure
while
making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, inspector\",
says
the Coroner. Second body: \"Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on
the
lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence
the
smile.\" The Inspector asked, \"What of the third body?\" \"Ah,\" says
the
coroner, \"This is the most unusual one: Big Seamus Quinn from
Donegal,
30,
struck by lightning.\" \"Why is he smiling then?\" inquires the
Inspector.
\"Thought he was having his photo taken.\"
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A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the
salesman:
\"I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer
screen\" . The surprised salesman replies: - \"But madam, computers
do not
have curtains...\". And the blonde said: - \"Helloooo.... I\'ve
got Windows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\"
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Essex Girl enters a s*x shop & asks for a vibrator. The man
says \"Choose from our range on the wall.\" She says \"I\'ll take the
red
one.\" The man replies \"That\'s a fire extinguisher. \"
bert
to
the bedroom to find Posh spread out on the bed naked, puffing and
panting.
Becks asks her suspiciously \"What are you doing?\" Posh stutters a
reply \"I\'m - er, er.... I\'m having a heart attack\" \"Oh no\" he cries
in
despair. \"I\'ll call an ambulance\". He runs downstairs, picks up the
phone
and begins dialling 999. However, he is stopped in his tracks by a
tearful
Brooklyn. \"What\'s the matter, son?\" asks Becks. \"Uncle Giggsy is in
the wardrobe with no clothes on, daddy\" sniffles Brooklyn.
Infuriated by
this, Beckham runs upstairs and kicks down the wardrobe door. Sure
enough,
the carpet-chested Welshman is stood there, starkers. \"You w@nker
Giggsy\"
screams Becks. \"My wife is right over there having a heart attack,
and
you\'re running around naked scaring the sh!t out of Brooklyn.\"
--------------------------------
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles
on
their faces. The coroner calls in the police to tell them what
has happened First body: \"Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure
while
making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, inspector\",
says
the Coroner. Second body: \"Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on
the
lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence
the
smile.\" The Inspector asked, \"What of the third body?\" \"Ah,\" says
the
coroner, \"This is the most unusual one: Big Seamus Quinn from
Donegal,
30,
struck by lightning.\" \"Why is he smiling then?\" inquires the
Inspector.
\"Thought he was having his photo taken.\"
---------------------------------------------------
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the
salesman:
\"I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer
screen\" . The surprised salesman replies: - \"But madam, computers
do not
have curtains...\". And the blonde said: - \"Helloooo.... I\'ve
got Windows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\"
----------------------------------------------
Essex Girl enters a s*x shop & asks for a vibrator. The man
says \"Choose from our range on the wall.\" She says \"I\'ll take the
red
one.\" The man replies \"That\'s a fire extinguisher. \"
bert