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Priest and Mars A catholic priest was summoned to the Vatican for a three week meeting. Unfortunately, the only substitute available was a young priest with no experience whatsoever.
\"I feel up to the challange Father\", he said, \"but I am not sure about how to run the confessional. What form of pennance do I prescribe for the various sins I will be confronted with?\"
The experienced priest left him a list coordinating sins and pennance, and reassuring the young man, he left for Rome.
The young priest\'s first confessional was soon upon him, and he was quite nervous as he stepped into his booth clutching the list his predecessor left him.
\"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have had impure thoughts about a woman I work with.\" came the first voice.
Nervously the young priest checked his list:
Impure thoughts: see also Aldulterous thoughts Disrespective thoughts Murderous thoughts
He then referred to adulterous thoughts and found that 4 hail Marys were appropriate. Relieved, he prescribed the pennance and waited.
\"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.\", said the next person, \"I took $50.00 from my employers desk!\"
The young priest looked to his list again, and immediately found:
Stealing:
< $10.00 10 hail Marys < $100.00 20 hail Marys < $1000.00 50 hail Marys $1000.00 80 hail Marys and five rosary prayers
After assigning the appropriate pennance, the young priest calmed down and felt confident in his list to provide him with the appropriate answer. He waited a while until his next confessor arrived.
\"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.\", said the next person, \"I was Butt-****ed by another man!\"
The young priest again consulted his list. To his dismay, anal sex was not listed. He checked rectal intercourse - nothing. Homosexual experience also showed nothing. He couldn\'t even find it under butt-****, ass-****, bottom, arse, everything he looked for was somehow absent from his list.
Finally, he grabbed a choir boy, who just happened to be walking by. He asked quite hurriedly, as he knew the confessor was waiting.
\"What does the priest give for a butt-****?\"
\"Oh, sometimes a Mars, sometimes a Snickers.!
\"I feel up to the challange Father\", he said, \"but I am not sure about how to run the confessional. What form of pennance do I prescribe for the various sins I will be confronted with?\"
The experienced priest left him a list coordinating sins and pennance, and reassuring the young man, he left for Rome.
The young priest\'s first confessional was soon upon him, and he was quite nervous as he stepped into his booth clutching the list his predecessor left him.
\"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have had impure thoughts about a woman I work with.\" came the first voice.
Nervously the young priest checked his list:
Impure thoughts: see also Aldulterous thoughts Disrespective thoughts Murderous thoughts
He then referred to adulterous thoughts and found that 4 hail Marys were appropriate. Relieved, he prescribed the pennance and waited.
\"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.\", said the next person, \"I took $50.00 from my employers desk!\"
The young priest looked to his list again, and immediately found:
Stealing:
< $10.00 10 hail Marys < $100.00 20 hail Marys < $1000.00 50 hail Marys $1000.00 80 hail Marys and five rosary prayers
After assigning the appropriate pennance, the young priest calmed down and felt confident in his list to provide him with the appropriate answer. He waited a while until his next confessor arrived.
\"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.\", said the next person, \"I was Butt-****ed by another man!\"
The young priest again consulted his list. To his dismay, anal sex was not listed. He checked rectal intercourse - nothing. Homosexual experience also showed nothing. He couldn\'t even find it under butt-****, ass-****, bottom, arse, everything he looked for was somehow absent from his list.
Finally, he grabbed a choir boy, who just happened to be walking by. He asked quite hurriedly, as he knew the confessor was waiting.
\"What does the priest give for a butt-****?\"
\"Oh, sometimes a Mars, sometimes a Snickers.!