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WOMEN\'S ADS: 40-ish....................................49
Adventurer.............................Slept with all your friends
Athletic..................................No tits
Average looking......................Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful................................Pathologi cal liar
Contagious Smile....................Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated..........................Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure.................Medicated
Feminist..................................Fat ball buster
Free spirit...............................Junkie
Friendship first................Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun......................................Annoying
Gentle...................................Comatose
Good Listener........................Borderline Autistic
New-Age...............................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned.......Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded..........................Desperate
Outgoing................................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate..............................Sloppy drunk
Poet.......................................Depress ive Schizophrenic
Professional............................Certified Bitch
Redhead.................................Bad dye-job
Reubenesque...........................Grossly Fat
Romantic................................Looks better by candle light
Social..............Has been passed around like an hors d\'oeuvres tray
Voluptuous.............................Very Fat
Height/weight proportional.......Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate......................Stalker
Widow................................Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart. .......................Old bat
MEN\'S ADS: 40-ish.....................................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic...................................Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking...........Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, &back
Educated..............................Will patronize the sh*t out of you
Free Spirit........... ...................Banging your sister
Friendship first...................As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun.................................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking...........................Arrogant
Very good looking....................Dumb as a board
Honest....................................Patholog ical Liar
Huggable.......................Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle........................Insecure mama\'s boy
Mature....................................Older than your father
Open-minded....Wants to sleep with your roommate but she\'s not interested
Physically fit............................Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.......................Wrote ex-girlfriend\'s phone number on a bathroom stall
Sensitive..................................Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive...........................Gay
Spiritual....................................Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable..........................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful......................Says \"Excuse me\" when he farts
Adventurer.............................Slept with all your friends
Athletic..................................No tits
Average looking......................Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful................................Pathologi cal liar
Contagious Smile....................Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated..........................Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure.................Medicated
Feminist..................................Fat ball buster
Free spirit...............................Junkie
Friendship first................Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun......................................Annoying
Gentle...................................Comatose
Good Listener........................Borderline Autistic
New-Age...............................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned.......Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded..........................Desperate
Outgoing................................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate..............................Sloppy drunk
Poet.......................................Depress ive Schizophrenic
Professional............................Certified Bitch
Redhead.................................Bad dye-job
Reubenesque...........................Grossly Fat
Romantic................................Looks better by candle light
Social..............Has been passed around like an hors d\'oeuvres tray
Voluptuous.............................Very Fat
Height/weight proportional.......Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate......................Stalker
Widow................................Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart. .......................Old bat
MEN\'S ADS: 40-ish.....................................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic...................................Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking...........Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, &back
Educated..............................Will patronize the sh*t out of you
Free Spirit........... ...................Banging your sister
Friendship first...................As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun.................................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking...........................Arrogant
Very good looking....................Dumb as a board
Honest....................................Patholog ical Liar
Huggable.......................Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle........................Insecure mama\'s boy
Mature....................................Older than your father
Open-minded....Wants to sleep with your roommate but she\'s not interested
Physically fit............................Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.......................Wrote ex-girlfriend\'s phone number on a bathroom stall
Sensitive..................................Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive...........................Gay
Spiritual....................................Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable..........................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful......................Says \"Excuse me\" when he farts