Tweet
1. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only cling film for shorts.
The shrink says \" Well I can clearly see you\'re nuts.\"
2. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn\'t find any.
3. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him fifty quid that he couldn\'t reach the meat off the top shelf.
He said \"NO, the steaks are too high.\"
4. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
5. a man goes to the doctor with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doctor says \"I\'ll give you some cream to put on it.\"
6. \" Doctor I can\'t stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home.\"
\"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome\"
\"Is it common?\"
\" It\'s not unusual.\"
7. So I was getting into my car when this bloke says to me \"Can you give me a lift?\"
I said \"Sure, you look great, the worlds your oyster, go for it.\"
8. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other \"Your round.\"
The other one says \"So are you, you fat *******.\"
9. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.
10. A man walks into the doctors and says \"I\'ve hurt my arm in several places.\"
The doctor replies \"Well don\'t go back there anymore.\"
The shrink says \" Well I can clearly see you\'re nuts.\"
2. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn\'t find any.
3. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him fifty quid that he couldn\'t reach the meat off the top shelf.
He said \"NO, the steaks are too high.\"
4. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
5. a man goes to the doctor with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doctor says \"I\'ll give you some cream to put on it.\"
6. \" Doctor I can\'t stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home.\"
\"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome\"
\"Is it common?\"
\" It\'s not unusual.\"
7. So I was getting into my car when this bloke says to me \"Can you give me a lift?\"
I said \"Sure, you look great, the worlds your oyster, go for it.\"
8. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other \"Your round.\"
The other one says \"So are you, you fat *******.\"
9. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.
10. A man walks into the doctors and says \"I\'ve hurt my arm in several places.\"
The doctor replies \"Well don\'t go back there anymore.\"
Comment