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Assorted rubbish
An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall.
A teenager walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all
different colours: green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.
The old man just stared. Every time the teenager looked, the old man was
staring.
The teenager finally said sarcastically, \"What\'s the matter old timer,
never done anything wild in your life?\"
Without batting an eye, the old man replied, \"Got drunk once and had sex
with a peacock, ... I was just wondering if you were my son!\"
*************************
Never Speak Your Mind:
A guy with a black eye boards his plane and sits down in his seat.
He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too.
He says to him, \"Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind
if I ask how you got yours?\"
The other guy says, \"Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister
accident.
See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most
massive breasts in the world was there.
So, instead of saying, \'I\'d like two tickets to Pittsburgh\', I accidentally
said, \'I\'d like two pickets to Tittsburgh\'...........So she socked me a
good one.\"
The first guy replied, \"Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue
twister too. I was at the breakfast table this morning and
I wanted to say to my wife, \'Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.\'
But instead I accidentally said, \'you ruined my life you fat evil slag\'
An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall.
A teenager walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all
different colours: green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.
The old man just stared. Every time the teenager looked, the old man was
staring.
The teenager finally said sarcastically, \"What\'s the matter old timer,
never done anything wild in your life?\"
Without batting an eye, the old man replied, \"Got drunk once and had sex
with a peacock, ... I was just wondering if you were my son!\"
*************************
Never Speak Your Mind:
A guy with a black eye boards his plane and sits down in his seat.
He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too.
He says to him, \"Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind
if I ask how you got yours?\"
The other guy says, \"Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister
accident.
See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most
massive breasts in the world was there.
So, instead of saying, \'I\'d like two tickets to Pittsburgh\', I accidentally
said, \'I\'d like two pickets to Tittsburgh\'...........So she socked me a
good one.\"
The first guy replied, \"Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue
twister too. I was at the breakfast table this morning and
I wanted to say to my wife, \'Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.\'
But instead I accidentally said, \'you ruined my life you fat evil slag\'