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Scouse vasectomy
>
> After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was
> enough, as the social wouldn't buy them a bigger bed and they weren't
> strong enough to nick one.
>
> The husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't
> want to have any more children.
>
> The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would
> fix the problem but it was expensive.
>
> A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put
> it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
>
> The Scouser said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest guy in the
> world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my
> ear is going to help me.'
>
> 'Trust me, it will do the job', said the doctor.
>
> So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the
> can up to his ear and began to count: '1, 2, 3, 4, 5,' at which point he
> paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue
> counting on his other hand.
>
> This procedure also works in Middlesbrough, Sunderland, Hull, parts of Bradford
and anywhere in Wales
>
A WOMAN'S POEM:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won't be annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand.
Massage my feet and help me stand.
Oh send a king to make me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this man will love no other.
And relish visits with my mother.
A MAN'S POEM:
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
big tits who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a ****.
>
> After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was
> enough, as the social wouldn't buy them a bigger bed and they weren't
> strong enough to nick one.
>
> The husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't
> want to have any more children.
>
> The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would
> fix the problem but it was expensive.
>
> A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put
> it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
>
> The Scouser said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest guy in the
> world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my
> ear is going to help me.'
>
> 'Trust me, it will do the job', said the doctor.
>
> So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the
> can up to his ear and began to count: '1, 2, 3, 4, 5,' at which point he
> paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue
> counting on his other hand.
>
> This procedure also works in Middlesbrough, Sunderland, Hull, parts of Bradford
and anywhere in Wales
>
A WOMAN'S POEM:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won't be annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand.
Massage my feet and help me stand.
Oh send a king to make me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this man will love no other.
And relish visits with my mother.
A MAN'S POEM:
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
big tits who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a ****.
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