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A man walked into a bar and ordered a pint. As he stood drinking he heard a voice say\"Youre handsome\" he looked round but there was no-one there. Again he heard\"I like your suit, it must have cost you a small fortune\". Again he looked round but there was no-one there.
He then decided to go and have a smoke. He had no fags so he went to buy some from the ciggy machine. As he got there he heard\"Nice suit????Its garbage and must have cost you a fiver if that\"He once again looked round but could see no-one. By this time he is getting a little perplexed. He put his money in and heard\"And as for handsome.. youve got a face like a smacked arse..\"
The man could see no-one so was really upset thinking he was going barmy. The bar man could see he was upset and asked him what was wrong.He told the barman who smiled and said\"The first voice you heard was the card of peanuts and the second was the fag machine\"
What do you mean\"? said the man.
\"Well\" replied the barman\" The nuts are complimentary and the fag machines out of order\"..
He then decided to go and have a smoke. He had no fags so he went to buy some from the ciggy machine. As he got there he heard\"Nice suit????Its garbage and must have cost you a fiver if that\"He once again looked round but could see no-one. By this time he is getting a little perplexed. He put his money in and heard\"And as for handsome.. youve got a face like a smacked arse..\"
The man could see no-one so was really upset thinking he was going barmy. The bar man could see he was upset and asked him what was wrong.He told the barman who smiled and said\"The first voice you heard was the card of peanuts and the second was the fag machine\"
What do you mean\"? said the man.
\"Well\" replied the barman\" The nuts are complimentary and the fag machines out of order\"..
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