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A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed?
"Breast-fed,"she replied
"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed the doctor said, "No wonder this baby is underweight. You
don't have any milk."
"I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came."
A barman is in his pub serving customers, when a tramp comes in, "Quick! I need a cocktail stick!"
The barman is a little bemused by this, but nevertheless hands over a cocktail stick. The tramp thanks him and hurries out.
A moment later, a different tramp comes in and once again urgently asks for a cocktail stick. The barman hands one over and the hobo hurries out.
A minute later, yet another tramp hurries in and says, "Quick, I need a straw"
The barman is getting tired of this and says, "Look, I've just had two of your mates in here asking for cocktail sticks and now you're in here trying to blag a straw... What's going on?"
The tramp replies - "Just give me a straw quick! Someone's been sick outside and all the chunks have already gone..."
While redecorating a church, three nuns become extremely hot and sweaty in their habits, so Mother Superior says, "Let's take our clothes off, and work naked."
The other two nuns disapprove, and ask, "What if someone sees us?"
But the Mother Superior says, "Don't worry, no one will see us, we'll just lock the door."
So the other nuns agree, strip down and return to work.
Suddenly, they hear a knock at the door, and grab their clothes in a panic.
Mother Superior runs to the door and calls through, "Who is it?"
"Blind man," a man's voice comes back.
So she opens the door, and lets in the blind man, who turns to the nuns and says, "Great tits, ladies, now where do you want these blinds
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed?
"Breast-fed,"she replied
"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed the doctor said, "No wonder this baby is underweight. You
don't have any milk."
"I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came."
A barman is in his pub serving customers, when a tramp comes in, "Quick! I need a cocktail stick!"
The barman is a little bemused by this, but nevertheless hands over a cocktail stick. The tramp thanks him and hurries out.
A moment later, a different tramp comes in and once again urgently asks for a cocktail stick. The barman hands one over and the hobo hurries out.
A minute later, yet another tramp hurries in and says, "Quick, I need a straw"
The barman is getting tired of this and says, "Look, I've just had two of your mates in here asking for cocktail sticks and now you're in here trying to blag a straw... What's going on?"
The tramp replies - "Just give me a straw quick! Someone's been sick outside and all the chunks have already gone..."
While redecorating a church, three nuns become extremely hot and sweaty in their habits, so Mother Superior says, "Let's take our clothes off, and work naked."
The other two nuns disapprove, and ask, "What if someone sees us?"
But the Mother Superior says, "Don't worry, no one will see us, we'll just lock the door."
So the other nuns agree, strip down and return to work.
Suddenly, they hear a knock at the door, and grab their clothes in a panic.
Mother Superior runs to the door and calls through, "Who is it?"
"Blind man," a man's voice comes back.
So she opens the door, and lets in the blind man, who turns to the nuns and says, "Great tits, ladies, now where do you want these blinds