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A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."
"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."
Bartender: "What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
Pirate: "Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."
Bartender: "Well, okay, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"
Pirate: "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really."
Bartender: "What about that eye patch?"
Pirate: "Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them **** in my eye."
"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you can't lose an eye just from bird ****."
Pirate: "Well, it WAS my first day with me hook !"
"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."
Bartender: "What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
Pirate: "Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."
Bartender: "Well, okay, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"
Pirate: "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really."
Bartender: "What about that eye patch?"
Pirate: "Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them **** in my eye."
"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you can't lose an eye just from bird ****."
Pirate: "Well, it WAS my first day with me hook !"
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