A night out with the lads.....

[Clare]

The other night I was invited out for a night with \"the boys
I told my wife that I would be home by midnight, \"I promised!\"

Well, the hours passed and the vodka went down way too
easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit blitzed, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started
up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly realizing my wife would probably
wake up I cuckooed another 9 times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a
quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order
to escape a possible conflict with her.

The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in,
and I told her midnight. she didn\'t seem disturbed at all.
Whew!!! Got away with that one!!!!

Then she said, \"We need a new cuckoo clock.\"

When I asked her why, she said, \"Well, last night our clock
cuckooed 3 times, then said. \"OH ****.\" cuckooed 4 more
times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled,
cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the cat
and farted............

[peter.m]

Very good. reminds me of another one.

A bloke goes out after work with his mates and gets hammered. After a good curry he\'s walking home when he chucks big style down the front of his suit.

He fears he\'s in big trouble when his mate tells him not to worry \"Stick a tenner in your top pocket and in the morning tell her a drunk puked on you and gave you the money for the cleaning.\"

Next morning he wakes up to find the wife is in real bad fettle as was expected. \"what\'s this?\" she says holding up his jacket.

\"Don\'t worry, a drunk puked on me last night but if you check the pocket you\'ll find he gave me a tenner for the cleaning.\"

\"Well you\'d better get out there and find him\" she says \"and get another tenner cos he **** in your pants as well.