Toon Army

[Mogthemackem]

Man goes to the Doctors, tells him he has this problem that whenever he masturbates he shouts TOON ARMY.

Doc calms him down and tells him that lots of w/-nkers suffer from that.



I'm here all week!!

[The Great Wallsendo]

Mackems...

Two Mackems are walking down Northumberland Street, when one of them spots a sign in a shop window.
It reads Shirts - 50p, Trousers - £1, Suits - £2.

"Here", says the first Mackem to his mate, "have you seen that, shirts 50p trousers £1, Suits £2. It looks like a canny deal. Why don't we go in, buy the lot and take them back to Sunderland and sell them on for a profit."

"Aye, that's a canny idea" says the other Mackem, "there's just one problem though. When the lady in the shop hears our accents, she won't serve us 'cause she will know we are Mackems."

"Don't worry about that" says the first Mackem, "I went to school with a Geordie, I've got the accent off to a tee."

So, both the Mackems walk into the shop and ask the lady if the sign in the window is right.

"What do you mean?" she says "Shirts for 50p, trousers £1 and suits £2."

"aye that's right" says the first Mackem. "and we want to buy the lot."

The lady looks at them and smiles and says "you two are Mackems aren't you."

Both the Mackems are totally shocked.

"How did you know that like?" they say.

"'Cause we're a dry cleaners you thick b******s!!!"

[Mogthemackem]

Touche (tooshay)