NUFC Sale!

[KeithB]

NEWCASTLE UNITED TABLECLOTHS - Suitable width='100%' for any occasion but tend to slip down the table after a short time - £4:99

NEWCASTLE UNITED VIDEOS - All the highlights from the last 50 years action. This 5 min video, including lots of re-runs, is a perfect gift for any fan £9:99

NEWCASTLE UNITED BANNERS - Come complete with interchangeable slogans Eg:- "Roeder OUT", "Dalglish OUT", "Keegan OUT", "Gullit OUT", "Robson OUT", "Souness OUT", "Sack the Board" etc.. £15:00

"OUR LOCAL HERO" KEYRINGS - Come complete with model of Alan Shearer (Our Local Hero) attached , please note that elbows could be dangerous. - £0.50p each.

"LOCAL HERO" Insomnia tapes - Listen to the full range of Alan Shearer football comments, guaranteed to send anyone to sleep within five minutes. - £5.99

NEWCASTLE UNITED JOKE BOOK - A MUST for all fans. This 900 page book is full of all the best jokes ever told about the club. - £25:00

NEWCASTLE UNITED C0NDOMS - Come in sizes from "Local Hero" to " SuperMac ". Ideal for the pricks in the Gallowgate Stand. - £0:75p for life-times supply.

NEWCASTLE UNITED BRA - One for the ladies. This bra, in team colours, comes with good support but no cups- £14:99

KEEPER'S GLOVE - A must for any fans at the back of the stand, or near the
corner flags to catch any shots the lads may have at goal. £8:99

NEWCASTLE UNITED LIPSTICK - Ideal for kissing goodbye. (To managers and overpaid transfer flops, as worn by fat Freddy himself) £0:99p each

MICHAEL OWEN SIGNED MATCH SHIRTS - This very limited edition item is a must, only a handful in this exclusive souvenir item - £1.2 million per game/shirt

[tonyfromalnwick]

Absolutely tremendous mate.

Wot a laugh, and all so true !

[marksworld]

LOVE IT KEITH LOL the condom one very very funny and true pmsl




cheers
mark

[toonarmy1810]

A better laugh than that sh**e above?

scum are the worst premiership team EVER, FACT...ohh how many points? LOLOL

[toonarmy1810]

KEEPER'S GLOVE - A must for any fans at the back of the stand, or near the
corner flags to catch any shots the lads may have at goal. £8:99

Yer cos theres no fans at the staduim of plight! So would be wasted there then!

[KeithB]

Praise the LORD!!! at bite at last! I thought I had wasted yet more quality bait

[Steve115]

Sunderlands points for their last 2 seasons in the premiership....

19 pts 02/03 Season (this was a record premiership low at the time!)

15 pts 05/06 Season (Yes - they broke thier own record for worst points total!)

Total pts FOR 2 SEASONS!!! 34

34 Points and a staggering (-87) goal difference......

34 Points in 2 seasons - whats that all about?

Lets all laugh at you know who!!!

[Steve115]

Just a few more Premiership records that sunderland hold:

Fewest Goals Scored 21
Lowest Goals Scored Average 0.66
Most Goals Conceded 57
Highest Goals Conceded Average 1.78
Lowest Goal Difference -36
Longest Losing Streak 9 games
Longest Winless Streak 14 games
Fewest Wins 2
Most Losses 25
Lowest Points per Game 0.34
Fewest Clean Sheets 3

Oh dear!

[KeithB]

Quality!! a double hook up!

[Steve115]

Just a few more Premiership records that sunderland hold:

Fewest Goals Scored 21
Lowest Goals Scored Average 0.66
Most Goals Conceded 57
Highest Goals Conceded Average 1.78
Lowest Goal Difference -36
Longest Losing Streak 9 games
Longest Winless Streak 14 games
Fewest Wins 2
Most Losses 25
Lowest Points per Game 0.34
Fewest Clean Sheets 3

Oh dear!

Just in case anybody didnt quite believe what they were reading the 1st time around - here it is again! lol

[toonarmy1810]

LOL at the mackems, put that on your hook!

[tonyfromalnwick]

Chomp chomp chomp......keep it up, you don't know the pleasure you're giving us !!

[Steve115]

It's a shame you dont get any pleasure out of watching your championship team attempt to play football!

Unlike me and fellow NUFC supporters who get to watch regular european football and premiership matches.

I aint biting- I'm enjoying listening to sunderland fans get thier only football related pleasure from attempting to take the proverbial out of the giants up the road.

It's always been the same - you live in our shadow, always will and I think it's great.

[marksworld]

It's always been the same - you live in our shadow, always will and I think it's great.

ooooooooooooooooh hanbags at dawn steve m8 lol, lol lol , nice to meet up with you on sat night by the way.


cheers
mark

[Steve115]

Cheers Mark - I've got a canny photo of you, fish and a tab. Can mail it to you if you like. The file is 2Mb ish but I could reduce it.

With regards the hand bags - bit of fun... we all enjoy a laugh at sunderlands expense now and then.....