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Something to make you chuckle.
An elderly couple were attending church services, about halfway
through she leans over and says to her husband, "I’ve just let out a long, silent fart, what do you think I should do?"
He replies, " Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#
Barry returned from a doctor's visit one day and told his wife Karen that
the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live.
Wiping away her tears, he asked her to make love with him. Of course
she agreed and they made passionate love.
Six hours later, Barry went to her again, and said, "Honey, now I only
Have 18 hours left to live. Maybe we could make love again?"
Karen agreed and again they made love.
Later, Barry was getting into bed when he realized he now had only
eight hours of life left. He touched Karen's shoulder and said, "Honey?
Please? Just one more time before I die."
She agreed, then afterward she rolled over and fell asleep.
Barry, however, heard the clock ticking in his head, and he tossed and
turned until he was down to only four more hours.
He tapped his wife on the shoulder to wake her up. "Honey, I only have
four hours left! Could we...?"
His wife sat up abruptly, turned to him and said, "Listen Barry, I'm
Not being funny
...but I have to get up in the morning and you don't."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A gentleman asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot
to an attractive woman he spotted dining alone.
The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said,
"This is from the gentleman seated over there,"
Indicating the sender.
She regarded the wine coolly for a second, not looking
at the man, and decided to send a reply note to the
man. The waiter, who was lingering for a response,
took the note from her and conveyed it to the
gentleman.
The note read:
For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a
Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the
bank, and 7 inches in your pants."
After reading the note, the man decided to compose one
of his own in return.
He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and
instructed him to return this to the woman.
It read:
For your information, I have a Ferrari Maranello, a
BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600 and a Porsche Turbo in my garage. There is over
twenty million sterling in my bank account.
But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I
cut three inches off my cock. Just send the bottle
back.
An elderly couple were attending church services, about halfway
through she leans over and says to her husband, "I’ve just let out a long, silent fart, what do you think I should do?"
He replies, " Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#
Barry returned from a doctor's visit one day and told his wife Karen that
the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live.
Wiping away her tears, he asked her to make love with him. Of course
she agreed and they made passionate love.
Six hours later, Barry went to her again, and said, "Honey, now I only
Have 18 hours left to live. Maybe we could make love again?"
Karen agreed and again they made love.
Later, Barry was getting into bed when he realized he now had only
eight hours of life left. He touched Karen's shoulder and said, "Honey?
Please? Just one more time before I die."
She agreed, then afterward she rolled over and fell asleep.
Barry, however, heard the clock ticking in his head, and he tossed and
turned until he was down to only four more hours.
He tapped his wife on the shoulder to wake her up. "Honey, I only have
four hours left! Could we...?"
His wife sat up abruptly, turned to him and said, "Listen Barry, I'm
Not being funny
...but I have to get up in the morning and you don't."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A gentleman asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot
to an attractive woman he spotted dining alone.
The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said,
"This is from the gentleman seated over there,"
Indicating the sender.
She regarded the wine coolly for a second, not looking
at the man, and decided to send a reply note to the
man. The waiter, who was lingering for a response,
took the note from her and conveyed it to the
gentleman.
The note read:
For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a
Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the
bank, and 7 inches in your pants."
After reading the note, the man decided to compose one
of his own in return.
He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and
instructed him to return this to the woman.
It read:
For your information, I have a Ferrari Maranello, a
BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600 and a Porsche Turbo in my garage. There is over
twenty million sterling in my bank account.
But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I
cut three inches off my cock. Just send the bottle
back.