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I,m over 50 now and the Royal Marines say I am too old to track down terrorists. ou can,t be older than 35 to join the military.
They have got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18 year olds off to fight, they ought to send us older guys. You should,nt be able to join untill you areat least 35.
FOR STARTERS
Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.
Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds to think about the enemy.
Young guys have,nt lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky marine is a dangerous marine.
If we can,t kill the enemy we,ll complain them into submission. \" My back hurts! \" \"I,m hungry! \" \" wheres the remote control ? !\".
An 18 year old has,nt had a legeal beer yet and you should,nt go to war untill your at least old enough to drink. An average old guy, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he is 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60 would do wonders for the old beer belly.
An 18 year old dose,nt like to get up before 10 a.m.
Old guys get up early every morning to pee.
If old guys are captured we could,nt spill the beans because we,d probably forgot where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would actually be easier for us old guys. we,re used to getting screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We also develope a deep appreciation for guns and rifles. We like them almost better than naps.
They could lighten up on on the obstacle course however.... I,ve been in combat and did,nt see a single 20 foot wall with a rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push ups after completing basic training. I can almost hear the Drill Sergeant now, \" get down and give me.. er...one.\"
And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I have never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18 year old has the whole world ahead of him. He,s still learning to shave, to actually carry on a conversation, and to wear pants without the top of his butt crack showing and his boxer shorts sticking out. He still has,nt figured out that a pierced tongue catches food particles,
and that a 400 watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture your eardrum.
All great reasons to keep our sons at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off to possible death.
Let us old guys track down the terrorists. The last thing the enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million old farts with attitudes.
Share this with your senior friends
( its probably in big type for us old guys)
They have got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18 year olds off to fight, they ought to send us older guys. You should,nt be able to join untill you areat least 35.
FOR STARTERS
Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.
Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds to think about the enemy.
Young guys have,nt lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky marine is a dangerous marine.
If we can,t kill the enemy we,ll complain them into submission. \" My back hurts! \" \"I,m hungry! \" \" wheres the remote control ? !\".
An 18 year old has,nt had a legeal beer yet and you should,nt go to war untill your at least old enough to drink. An average old guy, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he is 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60 would do wonders for the old beer belly.
An 18 year old dose,nt like to get up before 10 a.m.
Old guys get up early every morning to pee.
If old guys are captured we could,nt spill the beans because we,d probably forgot where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would actually be easier for us old guys. we,re used to getting screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We also develope a deep appreciation for guns and rifles. We like them almost better than naps.
They could lighten up on on the obstacle course however.... I,ve been in combat and did,nt see a single 20 foot wall with a rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push ups after completing basic training. I can almost hear the Drill Sergeant now, \" get down and give me.. er...one.\"
And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I have never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18 year old has the whole world ahead of him. He,s still learning to shave, to actually carry on a conversation, and to wear pants without the top of his butt crack showing and his boxer shorts sticking out. He still has,nt figured out that a pierced tongue catches food particles,
and that a 400 watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture your eardrum.
All great reasons to keep our sons at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off to possible death.
Let us old guys track down the terrorists. The last thing the enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million old farts with attitudes.
Share this with your senior friends
( its probably in big type for us old guys)
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