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posting from mehospital bed

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  • #16
    first time round, I went through the lavage business, second time took the sub-mucous diathermy option - highly recomended

    I experimented with positions and discovered it is entirely possibly to drown whilst lying on the bed fully clothed. thought I\'d try lying on me back head over the side, and have the solution poured up me scnozzle by means of turkey baster

    It takes approximately one quarter of a turkey baster full of salty water to almost drown a tall skinny adult male, thus proving it not only possible to drown in bed but that you can also drown someone with a turkey baister


    second time round the diathermy was great, easpy peasy on the packing front, not the 18 yards of headscarves tied together like what ALI BONGO used to do, just 2 tampons, least I think thats what they were (the strings were a pain when I ate soup), but once out clean as whistle, apart from 2 contendors for the worlds biggest bogey a few days later

    the cold old days of the nhs eh??

    no matter how hard I\'ve tried I\'ve not been able to undo their good work
    I\'ve just bust several stitches funny guy. Pack it in. Enough already.
    "I mock thee not, though I by thee am mockéd.
    Thou call'st me madman, but I call thee blockhead"

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    • #17
      And I never mentioned my request for a bed bath from the nurse who won the world\'s shortest skirt competition that year

      what you need is a little anaesthetic, just don\'t wash it out afterwards

      ps - try not to sneeze!
      ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ.

      Thought for the day:
      Some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything but bring a smile to your face when thrown down the stairs

      Converting an MFV Fifie trawler type thing.

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      • #18
        hope all went well ian

        i had to read the topic title twice it looked like mental hospital the first time
        Bri You cool man obviously Right on the money. There were doubters when I may have died pon the nhs bed from snat up me knose. Ken


        Aye that hurt lads though, the shadow of doubt. I\'ve never been one to be frivolous on this forum areaness
        "I mock thee not, though I by thee am mockéd.
        Thou call'st me madman, but I call thee blockhead"

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        • #19
          You can take the lad out of Walker but .......

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