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Being a bit Mental

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  • Being a bit Mental

    I've been having a bit of a problem with the old nut recently - nothing scary like walking around with a knife, staring at people in bus stops, just been gazing at my shoes a little bit too often. Got given the happy pills (Have it) and asked if I wanted to to see a councillor "I work for The ****ing Council, that's half my problem you retarded old quack" says I. My cool, calm and collected GP replied - "A Counsellor you dick" (I'm sure he called me a dick )

    So yesterday I bowled up to a rather depressing looking building, in a reasonably depressing street, in a generally depressing city Pushed the buzzer, one of 5, it was the only one with any type of label on it, and that was a ripped off bit of some kind of sticker. "Come in - Bzzzzzz, sit in the waiting room I'll send someone down. I'll not go into detail about the waiting room but it was supremely depressing, un believable. They'd tried to make an effort and got it completely wrong, blue plastic chairs and a plastic coffee table would have been ok, this room had a faded, partial, 1970's, draylon, purple suite.

    Craic was I waited for 40 minutes, was just about to bail out, remembered I had the power of the mobile phone and rang reception (2 floors up , but ya naar) Loads of kerfuffling and within seconds my counsellor (let's call her "Sally" from now on) come bursting into the room full of apologies and dragged me by the hair into an even more depressing little space. Same decor just tiny, with a box of tissues next to my horrible chair, I felt guilty through the whole session for not crying as the tissues looked quite expensive. And then I had some Sallying, quite good as it goes and I'll be back next week.

    Anyroad - was telling my mate at work about the whole 40 minute wait business and she was taking it all very seriously, the ******* and said "Maybe they do it on purpose to see how you nutters react" honest, she said that, she's nearly middle management as well "They've probably got cameras on you and everything" (I can see her negotiating to buy the footage to sell on to Ch5) I said I didn't care anyway.

    I expected to wait a bit anyway, hadn't brought a book but spotted a lot of magazines, not piled actually but kind of scattered. Their topics ranged from home improvements through to quantum mechanics via tropical fishkeeping. I went straight for the 2003 copy of Shooting Times, I've been thinking about giving it a go recently. I was drooling over photographs of beautifully engraved guns, and kind of squirming due to the fact that my knees were rund me neck and there was a spring up me arse.

    "My Mate" at work said - "If I'm right, and the cameras were rolling in that room, madboy, you're ****ed

    Does that make sense?
    "I mock thee not, though I by thee am mockéd.
    Thou call'st me madman, but I call thee blockhead"

  • #2
    aye makes sense mate but cannit decide whether to take u seriousley sounds like some of the situations a get into be carful they might try an set u up an drive u mad

    Comment


    • #3
      Gospel m8
      "I mock thee not, though I by thee am mockéd.
      Thou call'st me madman, but I call thee blockhead"

      Comment


      • #4
        Or in the words of that outfit I can't remember - "I'm as serious as cancer (Rythm is a dancer)"
        "I mock thee not, though I by thee am mockéd.
        Thou call'st me madman, but I call thee blockhead"

        Comment


        • #5
          A councillor is the least of your worries....its that strange bint from HR that you gotta worry about
          UKCC Level 2 Game Angling Coach

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          • #6
            Ell,

            You've always been radio rental, but we love you!!!
            Cheers, Keith.

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            • #7
              "Chicken Oriental" I believe is the correct term you gimmer

              I hope this thread hasn't affected any heedtheballs out there and made them reluctant to come forward for treatment.
              "I mock thee not, though I by thee am mockéd.
              Thou call'st me madman, but I call thee blockhead"

              Comment


              • #8
                dragged me by the hair
                who you trying to kid?
                ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ.

                Thought for the day:
                Some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything but bring a smile to your face when thrown down the stairs

                Converting an MFV Fifie trawler type thing.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by mark View Post
                  who you trying to kid?
                  public hair maybe?
                  Cheers, Keith.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by KeithB View Post
                    public hair maybe?
                    never seen 'im in public with hair either
                    ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ.

                    Thought for the day:
                    Some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything but bring a smile to your face when thrown down the stairs

                    Converting an MFV Fifie trawler type thing.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      How Man
                      "I mock thee not, though I by thee am mockéd.
                      Thou call'st me madman, but I call thee blockhead"

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        dare you to shave your head (won't take long ) before you're next visit and wrap your ears in tin foil
                        ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ.

                        Thought for the day:
                        Some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything but bring a smile to your face when thrown down the stairs

                        Converting an MFV Fifie trawler type thing.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          They will get you one way or another. I have just been told i need two new kneecaps, but i am too young to have the operation (55) so they said they would give me some medication to help with the pain.
                          They gave me anti depresants.
                          I am not sure if they are to help with the pain in my knees or help with the pain of being told I cant have the operation!!!!
                          Just keep going for the Sallying, Ell. At least its a break from work.
                          As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible,
                          but P*****g everyone off is a piece of cake.

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                          • #14
                            Funny that I was at the doctors yesterday and a woman called Sally ran in, seemed to be an emergency

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              you're not a loony, you're a fisherman!
                              Regards, Graham

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