Summer Break - Post here (or there?)

[Charlie_Thompson]

Reet mission was -

1. Leave the Skipper alone - he goes south I go north
2. Find ladies to make love at and have a bit fish here and there
3. VFM - Value for money
4. Weather

Craic was - I rented a van in the skippers back yard by accident (I didn't naar)- it's a long peninusular that Ardnamurchan , We'd talked about things like the importance of personal space, family time and the need for a good book on the jollys. Before I set off to Florida / Costa Rica / Cuba No. 1 offered me a few to read to keep me occupied (and out of the way) but I said nee bother I'll just hang out of the window and read whatever you're in to over your shoulder

Do not go to North Uist in the Outer Hebrides looking for ladies - there's only 2, they're both obese and married to everyone else.

CalMac ferries are not cheap!!!! Although after Oct, prices are being slashed nuttily. Ł10 for a guinness and a snifter in Ardnamurchan's second most famous hostel. (I stole salt) And if you've ever tried to find Charas in the West of Scotland I suggest you'd be better off going to India or Pennywell.

Weather was fine, fishing ok Video to follow

Catch report - All on the fly

Ardnmurchan

First sal****er fish I've ever caught on the fly - coupla coalies
Few macky to the spinner but I was determined to get one on the fly and have someone's eye out at the same time, no joy, very difficult to get a line out where I was fishing (Kilchoan Pier) Marks lad was king of the fishers, call a boy Finn and it's bound to happen.
Had a day on Loch Muddle (english spelling) and had about 437 lickle wild brownies - everyone an absolute diamond.

North Uist

Day out with me landlord who happened to be a ghillie for the local estate and an absolutely fantastic bloke all round. Stewart fee Lancashire living the dream over there with Margaret his lovely wife and the rest of the family - Molly the dog, Ian the son (18) and Margaret's mam (952). Anyone interested in a trip to Grimsay / North Uist I'd heartily recommend the Ardnastruban Guest House, fantastic. Even got invited into the family quarters for a session on the Talisker, the lad gave me flies, maps, lent me a reel and offered me the use of any of his kit.

The place just reeks of fish as it's basically just water with the odd bit of dry land getting in the way. There's fantastic fly fishing for wild brown trout, salmon and sea trout without any need for huge rods and technical speycasting. Big Pollock easily accesible with fly rod and apparently some superb tope fishing from the shore.

On my day out with Stewart I had a canny pollock on the fly (couple of pound) a topper "slob" trout and 4 brownies each exceeding my previous PB by some distance. Didn't do so well on my own though, couple more brownies in 3 sessions.

The owner of the waterford arms pub had lived in Maidstone round about the same time as me and also had friends in Houghton - le - Spring!!

Met the unofficial mayor of Banff (Pansyland) who remembered her well and I skippered the ferry back back from Loch Maddy (North Uist) to Uigg (Skye) honest! Tannoy announcement at the start of the crossing - "And your captain for today is Ian Elliott" feck me I thought I'd better put this Macaroni Pie down, stop playing the Bandit and get up to the bridge!! Told one of the crew I was the true Ian Elliott and could I meet the imposter who was driving the boat, no probs, 2 minutes later I was on the bridge craicing on to my namesake. Telt him about The Pansy all proud like to which he replied "I hate boats, too expensive and a pain in the arse, I just drive them for a living"

Mental drive through the Kyle of Lochalsh (?) stunning, never seen that part of Scotland before - home in time for sticky buns and traffic jams.

[Oblickta]

That sounds really good to me, my kind of place, I've only been as far north as lochaline but that might change one day soon

I been to the big dirty book shop in maidstone, it has a big wall beside it and a pub. I used to hang out round sittingbourne building a drain factory, that was a easy life cos albanians did all the work but the english got the blame when they pinched stuff cos it's not good to blame them when they work so hard for so little, and they beat up the site manager with big bats and chased him in a vw golf on the same day as brazil knocked us out of the 2002 world cup

[Charlie_Thompson]

That sounds really good to me, my kind of place, I've only been as far north as lochaline but that might change one day soon

I been to the big dirty book shop in maidstone, it has a big wall beside it and a pub. I used to hang out round sittingbourne building a drain factory, that was a easy life cos albanians did all the work but the english got the blame when they pinched stuff cos it's not good to blame them when they work so hard for so little, and they beat up the site manager with big bats and chased him in a vw golf on the same day as brazil knocked us out of the 2002 world cup

Ropemakers Arms in Maidstone - some pub! The gaffer had those matchboxes with a picture of the pub on but underneath it said "The Nosebreakers Arms" Never a truer word .... The Albion was no. 2 pub and Railway Arms on a par.

[Charlie_Thompson]

Some bloke ripped me and my mate Will off for some cladding work we did for for him - a couple of hundred quid each and he just blew us off. Went round his house and got threatened with a grassing to the dole and a good stabbing to the face. Word went round the pub although no-one said nowt to Tosh the landlord. The big man walked in one day asked for a pint - Tosh pulled him one then smacked this bloke so hard in the mush, right out of nowhere (or Compton) ******** staggered around with claret gushing all over for a while then went to find another pub to drink in for the rest of his life. Tosh was a bit hard.

[Charlie_Thompson]

Some bloke ripped me and my mate Will off for some cladding work we did for for him - a couple of hundred quid each and he just blew us off. Went round his house and got threatened with a grassing to the dole and a good stabbing to the face. Word went round the pub although no-one said nowt to Tosh the landlord. The big man walked in one day asked for a pint - Tosh pulled him one then smacked this bloke so hard in the mush, right out of nowhere (or Compton) ******** staggered around with claret gushing all over for a while then went to find another pub to drink in for the rest of his life. Tosh was a bit hard.

Happy Days

[Oblickta]

I like it when big heads get beat up, I once seen a little chinaman kick two big headed body builders in a gym in newcastlle, they didn't like it. I just sniggered and pumped me iron and looked out the window

[Charlie_Thompson]

S'all come flooding back - was allowed in there only on after several layers of recommendation, was in the process one day of pulling off a big and not entirely legal stunt Tosh walked into the beer garden and said "Ell, phonecall for you"

1. Tosh called me by my name
2. Taking personal calls in "The Rope" (no mobiles back then)
3. My balls had swelled to the size of three such was the kudos
4. I was still sweating my large ones over this bit of business

I John Wayned over to the payphone, picked up the thingmy and said -
"Yello, whas happening" or something similarly cool - voice on the end said

"This is Maidstone Police Station why are you ringing us?"

I went white, swallowed a mouthfull of Hurlimann flavoured bile and looked up to see every man, jack his dog and Tosher crammed into the lounge bit where they could watch my performance, on the verge of hysterics. I put the phone down and the abuse started. I didn't faint or cry so everything was cool after that.

The rascals

[Oblickta]

Hurlimans from the Shepherd Neame asylum, aka Hooligans?

oh yus

oh no

oh dear

"it wasn't me"

[Marc]

Spent 5 days last year chasing Michelle Pfeiffer round Uigg, didn't catch her or a fish.

Beautiful part of the world though.

Mate of mine has inherited a house up on Skye and is thinking about renting it out as a holiday home for next year, will let you's know how it goes.......

If anyone is interested.

[Charlie_Thompson]

Had to blast through Skye but it's a beautiful place - the Cuillins (?) WOW. Bit busy compared to the outer Isles I'd imagine though.