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best one liners in films you have seen

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  • best one liners in films you have seen

    dont know where this thought came from but what is the best or funniest one liner you have heard from a movie or tv show.
    mine has to be from a 90's low buget movie and Stars Robert Carlyle and Ricky Tomlinson.
    in one part of the movie one of the builders is trying to get a sub before payday off the foreman ricky tomlinson, the reply from tomlinson is cracking and this is it.

    "you have more chance of a three legged cat trying to bury a turd on a frozen pond than getting a sub"

    pure class. anyone got any more one liners




    cheers
    mark

  • #2
    Silence of the Lambs, The (1991) - Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins):
    "I do wish we could chat longer, but I'm having an old friend for dinner. Bye."

    Dirty Harry (1971) - Insp. 'Dirty' Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood):
    "You could ask your self a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya? Punk!"

    Apocalypse Now (1978) - Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore (Robert Duvall):
    "I love the smell of napalm in the morning."


    and another 100

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    • #3
      three class films bri withthree clasic one liners as well

      while my brain is in gear another two

      pulp fiction with Amanda Plummer's line "any of you motherf***ers move and i'll execute every last one of you"

      the last one is from dusk till dawn and its said outside the titty twister by cheech martin but its a bit to crude to for here but if you have seen the film you know what i'm talking about lol



      cheers
      mark

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      • #4
        another 24 hours with eddie murphy and nick nolte

        eddie murphy shoots someone in the leg in a night club and asks

        "ANY BODY ELSE WANT TO LIMP"


        still laugh at it now


        sless

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        • #5
          he's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy (life of brian)

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          • #6
            "IT'S ****E BEING SCOTTISH!", TRAINSPOTTING, DANNY BOYLE, 1996

            "It's ****e being Scottish! We're the lowest of the low. The scum of the f***ing Earth! The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic trash that was ever shat on civilisation. Some people hate the English. I don't. They're just ****ers. We, on the other hand, are colonised by ****ers. We can't even find a decent culture to get colonised by. We're ruled by effete ********s. It's a ****e state of affairs to be in, Tommy, and all the fresh air in the world won't make any f***ing difference!"

            Now I'm no Scotty basher - but that is class

            (I know it's not a one liner)
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            • #7
              Too many to list from Black Adder ,my favourite is probably when he's speaking of the Prince regents wallet :

              " It's as capacious as an elephants scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands on "
              You can take the lad out of Walker but .......

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              • #8
                Originally posted by SIXFOOTSTEVE View Post
                Too many to list from Black Adder ,my favourite is probably when he's speaking of the Prince regents wallet :

                " It's as capacious as an elephants scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands on "


                there is a fuuny line i remeber from black adder which goes something like "is that anne bury me in a Y saped coffin cleeves.
                black adder was opne of the funiest shows on tv it should never of ended



                cheers
                mark

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                • #9
                  "Nice beaver!" in the Naked Gun film when she goes up the ladder. Almost cried with laughter when I saw that.

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                  • #10
                    ohh hell, any line from The Quiet Man! that film is littered with some cracking lines - "Have the good manners not to hit the man until he's your husband and entitled to hit you back. "

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                    • #11
                      from con air.
                      the bit when sweet home alabama is playing
                      " difine irony?, a bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song sung by a band that were killed on a plane" just watching it now......one of my favorites



                      cheers
                      mark

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                      • #12
                        soooo many toi choose from...

                        hayley mills in whistle down the wind - "jesus - I've brought your fags"

                        "At least there are no Jews in New York" (A line from a subtitled sequence in the "Borat" film.)

                        "What hump?" (Marty Feldman as Igor in Mel Brooks' "Young Frankenstein)

                        and literally hundreds of great lines from Woody Allen and Groucho Marx....eg.......

                        "Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love."

                        "These are my fundamental principles. If you don't like them, I have others." (Groucho Marx)
                        ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ.

                        Thought for the day:
                        Some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything but bring a smile to your face when thrown down the stairs

                        Converting an MFV Fifie trawler type thing.

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                        • #13
                          Once again from Black Adder .... " make a sentence from the following words , YOUR SODDING FACE SHUT " . Every one's a classic.
                          You can take the lad out of Walker but .......

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