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  • #16
    "Gas mark 6 for 20 minutes" ????????
    You wouldn't even have a decent tan, Alan - let alone be incinerated - a small chicken takes longer to cook.........lol

    Post Mortem (after death) embalming is "nasty"........lol - not as nasty as the alternative, Marc .

    If there are any bits of me still in good working order once I've finished with them, anybody's welcome to them - heart, lungs, kidneys, corneas, liver, etc (if they've developed limb transplants by the time I've got no further need of mine, they can have them, too). With a bit of luck, there won't be much of me left to "dispose" of.

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    • #17
      cremated me too - as the curtains pull back the The Crazy World of Arthur Brown would belt out of the speakers FIRE - "I am the god of hell fire and i bring you fire" - would love to be there to see the faces.

      What tunes would you lot want to play at your do.
      give a man a fish and feed him for a day - teach the man to fish and feed him for life!!!!

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      • #18
        Originally posted by The Great Wallsendo View Post
        Slightly heavier topic matter than Crabsticks...but for me I want to be enshrined in a marble mausoleum in one of those Union Jack coffins that Go as You Please (on Wallsend High Street) have.

        Seriously however I'd prob get cremated by my tight ass kids - if that happened I'd love to be kept under the stairs in my Urn like Barry off Eastenders

        wallsend m8 i hope you have a big insurance as a mausoleum will cost an arm and leg. also we can suply you them colourful coffins with the union jack

        my personal opinion is when you are gone you are gone so either or for me.
        but to save some money it would be cremation i would rather the money i have left went to my family


        "Lol Wallsendo.....Micky you may need longer than 100 years to see your dreams fulfilled......Surely toasting someone in an oven is pretty un-environmentally friendly.....I'd rather be stuck on the ground to feed the worms ."
        rory the crematers these days are probably more enviromently friendly these days than one of those new green cars, every year they add something to the system to make them more ozone friendly the latest being an expensive bit of kit that gets rid of mecury emmisions.

        do you know that you can be burried in your own garden without planning permision but you have to get the council out to make sure the area is not on a water table, the only problem with that is if you move i would expect the new owners would have the right to exhume the grave.
        have a read of this its quite intresting

        Home Burials

        The following should be considered when deciding whetherhome burial would be suitable, and advice should be sought from the Environment Divison, before taking action.

        There is still a requirment for relatives to register a death and a relative of the deceased will need to obtain a free "cause of death certificate" from a doctor. This must be sent by the doctor or taken by yourselves in a sealed envelope within 5 days of death to the Registrar of Births and Deaths. This period can be extended to 14 days if a written notification of the death has been sent by yourselves within 5 days. The Regsitrar will then provide you with a free "green" certificate unless he feels it necessary to inform the Coroner, in which case there will be a delay until the Coroner issues an Order, allowing burial to take place. The burial should take place within 14 days. Within 96 hours after burial the tear off slip from the certificate (or Order) must be completed and returned by yourself to the Registrar.

        Issues you need to take into account when considering a home burial:

        * Planning Permission

        You do not need planning permission for a burial in the back garden for a single grave or possibly a small number of graves, as long as there is no material "change of use".

        * Do you intend to stay in the house long?

        If you do not intend to stay more than a few years in the house, thenburing in the back garden is probably no appropriate.

        * you might have trouble selling the house with a grave in the grounds.
        * If you do sell the house you will not have right of access to the grave.
        * If you wish to take the body with you, you will need to obtain an exhumation licence from the Secrtary of State fro the Home Office.

        * Place of burial in the garden

        You should site the burial place away from the house and away from services such as drainage, cables and gas supplies. This is significant if extensions or repairs are carried out, so no exhumation licence will be needed. Any uncovering of the body (disinternment) without consent is an offence, as well as causing the possibility of further distress for yoursleves.

        * Type of soil and depth of graves

        It is not adisable to carry a home burial if you have sandy soil in your garden. The problem being that when excavating the ground, there is likelihood of a cave-in when digging deep. It is recommended that the top of the coffin should be at least 1 metre (3ft) under the ground to prevent possible public health nuisance.

        * Re-development of the land

        There might be a problem if the land was to be compulsory purchased for re-development, the planning authority would have a right to relocate the remains of any person buried.

        * Common Law

        If you decide to have a burial within your garden, the neighbours may not welcome it and you might find tensions building up between you and them. Futther to this they may decide to take formal action against the burial on grounds of it being morally unacceptable, and affecting their senses of sight, hearing or smell.

        * Intervention powers of Local Authority

        The Council has powers to deal with emissions of fumes or gases from premises which are prejudicial to health or a nuisance, and could serve an Abatement Notice requiring such action to prevent the nuisance. This could be applied to a grave in a garden, and as such, remedial action would be needed and there could be a requirement fro relocation of the body.

        * Intervention powers of the National Rivers Authority

        The National Rivers Authority (NRA) has powers to carry out works or operations to prevent any polluted matter which is likely to enter controlled waters. This could apply to a badly sited grave and could require removal of the body. In general it is advisable that any grave be at least 50m from any well or borehole, or 10m of any standing or running water.

        green burial is becoming more popular i have done about a dozen in the last couple of years and the one at bockenfield when its mature will be lovely



        cheers
        mark

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        • #19
          Originally posted by jason View Post
          What tunes would you lot want to play at your do.
          I dunno - can you play anything at these functions? or is there a decency thing? If not I would ask for "See You Later F*ck-face" by the Queers...if you don't know it try and download it
          Ooh a new vid!

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          • #20
            Originally posted by The Great Wallsendo View Post
            I dunno - can you play anything at these functions? or is there a decency thing? If not I would ask for "See You Later F*ck-face" by the Queers...if you don't know it try and download it

            we have heard loads of tunes like the "time warp" in a little old village church i had a smile on my face while carrying the coffin out
            recently i was asked to play the coundown theme as the curtains closed at the crematotium, the lads at the crem got it spot on just as the curtains closed.
            highway to hell by ac/dc, the drugs dont work, burn by doctor and the medics, angels, allways look on the bright side of life, everybody hurts by r.e.m. are just a few. churches can be a bit picky now and again but the crematorium will let you play allmost anything. having a song played that makes people smile after a sad service i think is a good thing




            cheers
            mark

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            • #21
              change of mind hear i am going to be dropped off end of seaham pier and flow away with the tide ,the fish wont hurt me i never catch them anyway so they could,nt blame me for owt
              john
              did you know panel pins comes in diff sizes ?

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              • #22
                john .the sea is poluted enough, chucking in a useless redundant greasy engineer would only harm the enviroment
                North East Surfcasting Association

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                http://akiosfishingtackle.com/

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                Zziplex

                UKSF & WFSA Affiliated Surfcasting club
                http://www.wfsa.org.uk/

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                http://www.facebook.com/groups/125046534195681/

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                • #23
                  hi will you forgot the old miserable bit
                  did you know panel pins comes in diff sizes ?

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                  • #24
                    boat

                    mines definately a vikings funeral, placed in a cobble pushed out to sea and set alight,i was going to say john can cast the torch but he wouldnt reach the boat

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                    • #25
                      what about be nice to john day today .
                      ps how much does it cost to get cremated can you not just hire a skip
                      john
                      did you know panel pins comes in diff sizes ?

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                      • #26
                        What about funeral Pyres? is there legislation on that? I'd like to be burned atop a flaming pyre if I don't get my mausoleum......
                        Ooh a new vid!

                        IMPORTANT NOTICE: No media files are hosted on these forums. By clicking the link below you agree to view content from an external website. We can not be held responsible for the suitability or legality of this material. If the video does not play, wait a minute or try again later.
                        I AGREE

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by The Great Wallsendo View Post
                          What about funeral Pyres? is there legislation on that? I'd like to be burned atop a flaming pyre if I don't get my mausoleum......


                          at the moment the funeral pyer is a bit of a grey area , there was one held last year and it kicked up a bit of a stink (pardon the pun) the police did not know if it were legal or ilegal nor the council. my opinion is that it is wrong as there are very strict cremation laws which all crematorums and funeral directors have to adide by, emissions, the corect forms to be filled in etc. if a person was to be burnt on a pyre it would go against all the rules laid down by crematorums. surely burning someone in the open air would cause emissions where at the crematorium these emissions are controled. this topic has been discussed on here before i think.





                          cheers
                          mark

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by sless
                            yes look at the carbon footprint on the sole of the blokes foot
                            and all the damagew it will do to the enviroment


                            would tht not be a charcole footprint



                            cheers
                            mark

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