Pansy Report

[Charlie_Thompson]

Shifted 18 ton of ballast from one place to another - I managed to start the Henjin on me own, did have to ring Mark to ask him how to turn it off like Also swept the spiders nests off the forradd hatch.

[Oblickta]

Get some slaves and hang em from the yardarms if they dont obey you.

Warning: this method may be a tad illegal these days so check first

[mark]

Get some slaves and hang em from the yardarms if they dont obey you.

Warning: this method may be a tad illegal these days so check first

already have, and today he Shifted 18 ton of ballast from one place to another and swept the spiders nests off the forradd hatch.

[Charlie_Thompson]

Might not quite have been 18 ton - and when I said swept it was probably more like a bit of a "Shoooo Spiders" and then I tried to magic them away with my mind while having a dram to make sure the magic was powerful. I bet they're gone when we go down.

[Oblickta]

I used to work on Panamanian Tramp and we had pumps and valvey things to move ballast around, I will tell him

[Oblickta]

hmmm, so you played the witchcraftery card

[Oblickta]

Bri ng me mytelescope and my triangle

[Charlie_Thompson]

Bri ng me mytelescope and my triangle

Aaah 2 bits of boating paraphenalia(Eh!) I am good at - I love looking down telescopes the wrong way, always have done, a man who doesn't do this is akin to those strange folk who when left alone in a room with a tea cosy on the table do not try it on (Billy Connelly) I also can't see through them in a moving boat, just can't do it - believe me I tried when the rude thing was happening on them steps, I almost put as much effort in when that oil tanker thingmy was going to run over us.

The triangle - the one instrument I can almost play although the one I've currently got only has 2 sides.

See I know loads about boats me. Me and Marc had a reasonably serious conversation on our way back about Mark's big wide ruler thing that he had on one of those big bits of paper with the lovely blue shading and loads of lines on. It had these weirdy curly handles on and looked like it had split in half. We both solemnly agreed that the handly things were for decorative purposes

Mark has only recently got rid of a proper sextant - I wanted to drive around town hanging out of the window with it using it like a satnav - always wanted to sit opposite a mate on the tube or train and get 2 tin cans joined with string out, pass one over then start talking nonesense really loudly. With a tea cosy on me nut obviously

[mark]

now you've got the forecabin empty I can finally install the thick vinyl covered padding on the walls, floor and ceiling and install the webcam

[Oblickta]

Fatty Faye tried to get me to play the triangle but ho ho she failed miserably as did Miss Newman when she tried to make me eat celery

THE FOOLS

They ruined my life

[mark]

I know how to play celery if that any help, read it in a book once, "Burt Weedons Play Celery in a Day"

Soon, I'll be good enough to move up to something more challenging like Artichokes

[Charlie_Thompson]

Graham - I hated celery as well. Grown up a bit now and have stopped screaming if I chow down on a bit. Jambalaya or something like that made me appreciate it's dodgy taste. It still mings basically. Takes more calories to eat a stick than whats in a stick. This stuff will kill you if that's all you've got to scran, that can't be right

[mark]

out of desperation I once made some fishing lures out carrots. All on account of being in a a caravan at the end of the world, the nearest shop was 2 time zones away and wanted half a lung and a kidney for a set of daylights.

cut them into flat strips and nibble them to a vaguely fishy shape and everything, still caught nowt also made some out of strips of crisp packet as well which did work.

A blonde member of the family who must remain nameless suggested using prawn cocktail flavour, as the local fish might eat prawns

[Oblickta]

Miss Newman looked like Cat woman from bat man films

[Charlie_Thompson]

I have many things to say about many things as this thread has captured my himagination but I will limit myself to matters in hand.

In a survival situation I would consider using a carrot as bait if I could garauntee it would catch a fish. If not I would just eat the carrot, with some roast chicken and other bits and bobs.

Strips of crisp packet do work, I caught a 28lb potato of Roker pier last Jelember on packet strip, can out fish crab on it's day